Miss 32 years-old In a relationship
Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML
Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML
Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML
Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML
Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "Zoinks". FML
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