Les69

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

First date, and probably the last

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML