itsjorneal

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

Little demon

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML