cuddle_bug21

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Cuddle_bug21's favorite FMLs

Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

agreeclassic 46 957

vote type 1 4 328

By fuckingfloridahowihatethee - 26/04/2014 19:55 - United States - Punta Gorda

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

agreeclassic 39 435

vote type 1 5 412

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

agreeclassic 41 418

vote type 1 5 739

By Cougar - 24/07/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, I was at work when my mother called. She gave me great news that she had finally cleaned out my room and all those "old and useless" books that I had in there. Those "useless" books that she had just trashed were all antiques and worth about $500 each. There were 27 books in there. FML

agreeclassic 58 742

vote type 1 5 220