Miami Gardens 35 years-old
Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
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