Mr Blumenau, Brazil 52 years-old In a relationship
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
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