Jujimufu

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

Skin deep

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML