narya1

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

Road rage

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML