Dave7276

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

This is fine

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML