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Helixer

Mr

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32 years-old
Thursday 16 June 1994
Not specified

About Helixer

I seem like an ass online, unfortunately. I'm not like that in real life though :D ... I think... haha.

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Helixer's FML badges

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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Helixer's favorite FMLs

By MollyMo - 21/03/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 144

You deserved it 41 865

Hello Zoe

By Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 310

You deserved it 16 665

Memories

By Fwick - 19/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 539

You deserved it 5 041

Rough

By vela9002 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me, and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men," he said, "Oh yeah, me too, I really like buff guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 990

You deserved it 13 892

Meanwhile, in Westboro…

By maconda99 - 06/04/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looked at my nametag, then me, then turned to her daughter and said, "Because he hates God, honey". FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 076

You deserved it 5 207