pwnisher07

YouSoSmelly This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff Kannapolis, United States

Beach bum

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

66 comments

um... what the fuck, miss? 2 August 2013, 20:23 United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

137 comments

lights on forever 2 August 2013, 20:57 Istanbul, Turkey

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

114 comments