Krazy_KillaKlown

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

Jack Frost

Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML