Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML
Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML
Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML
Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML
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