dellorama

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML