Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
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