Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
pedrocolon98
deadhammy
San Diego, United States
zheiraT
South Portland, United States
Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML
Spongebob Garypants
Manchester, United Kingdom
No brainer
Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML