Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to wish my boyfriend a happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after I'd sent it, I realized that the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
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Top comments
SEXMUFFIN21 0
who watches a cell phone? you need to get laid
jennaleighhh 0
...watching a cellphone? if that isn't the weirdest hobby i've ever heard...
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Comments (151)
slyvanilla_creme 0
wow...i must be naiive...i believed this...and everyone is saying its fake...
ruby29 0
you were watching his cell phone.?
xlostwithoutu 0
Haa :D Fyl
skitzofreniks 5
a lie to babe? your boyfriends an idiot.
SEXMUFFIN21 0
who watches a cell phone? you need to get laid
nateypooo 0
mayybe they just finished
ImTotallyAsian 0
umm iphone netflix maybe?
thatnucca 36
Lmao. Very true
acommonman 23
Waiting for a text message or watching a video, perhaps.
Mcstud1y 30
But not by him
jennaleighhh 0
...watching a cellphone? if that isn't the weirdest hobby i've ever heard...
amandalovee 0
yea...
DenzellM 0
watching the cellphone too see if it grows.
SuperNinjaTaco 0
What she obviously meant was watching something on his cellphone...
mykon_fml 0
well they might have been doing other things. just they had to check something on this phone they picked it up and looked at it. while doing what they needed to do the reminder came up. so they coulda just finished having sex for all u know checking the time.
marimar1493 0
Exactly!
fallchild007 0
wow, that sucks. i hope you dumped him ahah
TheOptimist 0
I hope she didn't dump him. OP should have found out what that meant exactly, then decided what to do. He may just be lying to her because he wants a bit of space and to spend the first night of the weekend alone, but not want to offend his girlfriend by telling her he just doesn't want to hang out. OP could be very clingy for all we know. Maybe he has one of those period calenders on his phone/iPod, and Friday is when OP is supposed to have her period. Also, he typed her in as "babe", even though no one was supposed to have read that except for himself, so he probably still loves OP. But if he is doing it to cheat, FYL OP, **** it hard.
shylodragon 0
it's still lying!
PeteyPablo12308 20
To The Optimist: It doesn't matter if all he wanted was "space," because if he's the kind of person who doesn't have the balls to tell the truth, then **** him. He's not worth it. Think of what else he could lie about, just so he "doesn't hurt her feelings..."
iryna 0
no guy would ever write that.
dudewithface 0
Your life is ****** if you were watching his self phone. A better FML would have been: Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone. FML
applesmoothiee 2
lol
aj521 4
hahaha
Reapel 0
*Cellphone.
barbieee420 1
Hahahhahhahahh
xMooMoox 0
Maybe they were watching a video on it? Or looking at pictures? Or watching tv (some have it, although I'm not sure why you wouldn't watch a regular tv at home?). I mean I doubt they (if this is true) were just staring at it. The bigger thing then "watching his cell phone", which you all are freaking out about, is why would he set a reminder? Is he that stupid? He can't remember on Friday when you actually ask? He's going to forget to lie and be like oh ******* this sweet thing? Thats why I think this could be false, don't forget to lie cause you could tell the truth about what naughty thing your doing!
Meowff 0
Dudewithface your life is ****** if you obviously can't spell "cell phone."
melfamilia 3
agreed!!
Iloveblackmen 0
I agree with # 12. # 10 "Today, I was posting a comment on someone's post and I spelt Cell phone Self phone. FML."
tj8610 0
*spelled......dumbass
fmylifelooser 0
#12: "Today, I was commenting on FML correcting someones grammar but spelled 'spelled' wrong. FML"
eyeofthetiger7 0
in britain and australia and other countries we spell the past tense of 'spell' as 'spelt'. not everyone's american you dumbarse.