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The all-time greatest FMLs

Shot from both sides

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 12:00

Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 224

The gift of insecurity

By where’d she learn it? - 21/10/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend gave me head for the first time. It was so good, I swear she sucked my soul into another dimension! I was snapped back to earth by the thought that no one sucks that good without years and years of practice. Now I can’t stop thinking about all the other dicks she’s sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 841

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was doing squats at the gym. I caught my reflection in the mirror, got distracted by how awkward I looked, and lost my balance. I fell backward onto a medicine ball, rolled into another person’s legs, and took them down with me. We ended up in a sweaty heap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 284

Artificial tree meets natural predators

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 587

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 746

Firehose

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 323

Gross

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned what my husband's "little side hustle" that he started is about. He's been using his gaming PC to generate disgusting AI porn movies with shit like monsters fucking women and other sick shit. It's like a sleazy Breaking Bad. Hope he enjoys the movies, because he's never getting sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 271

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, it's been 3 days since I matched with someone online and have been crafting witty, charming messages. We finally agreed to meet, and the second I walked into the café, I realized he was the bartender who'd already seen me cry there after a breakup six months earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 197

Neighborhood watch

By Chris - 14/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Madison

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to tell me I'd left my car window open. I thanked him, went outside, and discovered it wasn't my car. He had just spent five minutes checking a stranger's vehicle because it looked like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 71

Having fun over there?

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 00:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 345

Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 11:01

Today, I realized that I've watched so much Honey Boo Boo that I've developed a mild southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 230

Strapped for cash

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 10:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my now ex-best friend decided to sell his house. This wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't asked me to live in it and look after it, which I've been doing for two years while he's abroad, and is the result of his loud-mouthed, obese mother leading him around by the nose, and forcing both of us to pay her bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 429

Crossroads

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 02:00

Today, I had to face the fact that although I’ve been married for almost 2 years, my dream girl has come into my life and wants a relationship. I don’t know how to break it off with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 704

Heartless

By Zerofilter - 18/02/2022 18:01

Today, my coworker said her dog died. Without thinking, I tried to cheer her up and said, “Oh man, that’s rough. Get it? Ruff? Ruff ruff!” and giggled like a schoolgirl. Nobody laughed. My coworker burst into more tears. I have a Teams video meeting with my supervisor and HR this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 2 227

Checked out

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 10:30

Today, someone finally pointed out that my 'Out of Office' message has been on for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 828

Idiot

By I hate teenagers! - 22/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my idiot son has been getting his ass kicked nearly every day since he spread a rumor that he’d been sleeping with the most popular girl in school. Not only is she the wrestling coach’s daughter, her brothers are all massive jocks. Even though he apologized the beatings keep coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 569

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 23/09/2023 10:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, because of my anxiety, which causes me to procrastinate, I left an assignment until the last minute. I got 18/40 and it was a 'must pass' to complete the unit. I don't know whether to just say fuck it and drop out now, or continue and do the final exam for this subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 990

Crisis

By Tracey J - 11/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, in an effort to save money, I dyed my hair at home. I used the wrong shade, or brand, or maybe I shouldn’t have bought a cheap one, but now I look like a mutant traffic cone. My boss asked if I was “expressing myself” or “just having a midlife crisis.” I can’t afford to fix it, so I’m stuck like this for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 487

Alopecia shit

By ThanksWill - 07/04/2022 12:00

Today, a coworker just came back from being ill and getting chemotherapy for a month and a half. I saw her bald head. I’d never seen her like that before. The astonishment disabled my verbal filter and I blurted out, "Jada Pinkett-Smith." Let’s just say besides this FML, I’m also submitting online resumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 1 838

Do as I say…

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as a gynaecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 926

Pep talk

By Brendon - 12/11/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to give myself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror at work, just like Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul does. Just as I said, "You got this," someone walked in and gave me a very concerned look. Now I’m the "motivational mirror person" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 314

The tree of life

By Snowy - 23/05/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Wildervank

Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 440

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Jeff78 - 03/10/2025 15:00

Today, I pulled up to a drive-thru speaker and my brain misfired and I said, “Thanks, I love you!” to the employee after she handed me my order. She replied, “We just met, but okay dude.” I put my food on the passenger seat and quickly scuttled off in my busted ass Toyota. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 270

Make it make sense

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I got divorce papers from my wife, who was a former adult entertainment performer. Perhaps foolishly, I tried to get her to accept Jesus and become a Christian, which she eventually did. Now she is divorcing me for "being married to a former porn star." FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 789

Juicer

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 18:00

Today, while I was gambling at a casino, my daughter call me. Then added her mother. And then added her dance teacher, my side piece. The call got so loud the Pit Boss had to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 3 071

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 15:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 397

"Your degree will open so many doors"

By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30

The way I live determined, that was a lie!

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 115

Grow up

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 714

Pipe down, Whitney

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 10:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I got a parking ticket because I was too busy singing along to my music to notice that I'd overstayed the time limit on the quick stop parking space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 982

Recycling

By Anonymous - 26/08/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend said he sees no need to buy new baby equipment such as a crib, a playpen, etc., for our first child, when we can just use the stuff his other kids used a couple years ago. He has no idea why I'm upset about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 1 507

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The Top

Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 938

You deserved it 4 694

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 432

You deserved it 6 618

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 190

You deserved it 4 301

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 238

You deserved it 49 507

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 675

You deserved it 8 652

Today, my boyfriend and I binged Star Wars. Now he keeps talking about how the Empire is superior to the Republic, digging up Reddit threads / YouTube videos / expressing his own political ideas to convince me of this. I just wanted to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 742

You deserved it 614