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The all-time greatest FMLs

Second opinion, please

By fishyrael - 26/08/2021 04:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I went to a new doctor for an injury. Instead, the doctor only focused on my weight and tried to basically prescribe me anorexia. She tried to tell me that 750 calories a day was fine and brushed off my exercise regimen as, "Exercise is great, but you'll lose weight faster if there are no calories to burn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 191

Evidence

By Lawyer time - 08/08/2023 16:00

Today, I found a receipt from a lingerie store for some nice garments. When I asked my wife about it, she stammered and said it was a birthday surprise, then got mad at me for ruining it. My birthday isn't for almost ten months and she hasn't been sexual with me for years, much less spontaneous. Nice try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 169

Compassion

By BadFriend - 05/04/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, my best friend is giving me the silent treatment and has blocked me on Facebook. All because I missed her 30th birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I’d gotten into a car accident earlier and had to be treated for minor injuries in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 102

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 23:00

Today, we live in a world where 10 people on a bus will ignore a man slapping his wife so hard, she falls out of her seat, yet when that same man has a coughing fit, the same 10 people all get mad at him for not wearing a mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 161

Road hog

By DanJames24 - 10/10/2021 08:00 - United Kingdom - Rochdale

Today, a girl seemed to be tailgating me while I was driving home. I ended up letting her past as I didn’t like it, so I pulled into the next petrol station. She did too, so I thought I’d ask her why she was tailgating me. She asked what I was going to do about it, before kneeing me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 255

Ball and chain

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 12:00

Today, my husband got mad at me because I asked if we could have 2 hours out of a 16-day trip to go to the beach, just us and our kids. Why is he mad at me for this? Because his mother will be upset if we go do something by ourselves without her. Her husband and the rest of her family will all be on this 16-day trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 143

A wild TERF appears

By Anonymous - 25/09/2022 01:00

Today, someone started to scream at me that "I needed Jesus" and that "I would never be a real woman." When they realized I'm a guy with long hair, they got physically angry at me for "lying to them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 172

On the beat

By Anonymous - 10/09/2020 23:02 - Greece - Thessaloniki

Today, in my orchestra, I was one of the 2 instruments that starts first. The conductor raised his hands, but while I was waiting for the preparatory beats, I blinked. When I opened my eyes, the conductor had already started. I started late, in front of a thousand people. The conductor is still angry with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 576

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

By MandiJo - 19/02/2021 11:01

Today, my fiancé/son’s father’s death anniversary is in a few days. I asked my closest friends if they’d hang with me so I could try and keep my mind off it, and so I wouldn’t be alone (my son will be with fiancé’s parents). They couldn’t be bothered and want to go away for the weekend instead. Without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 164

Sneaky

By Where should I go - 19/09/2023 04:00

Today, me, my sister, and my boyfriend all live together. It’s time to renew the lease. They used this as an opportunity to let me know that they’ve fallen in love and I will not be on the new lease. Our parents died in a car accident last year and I have no other family who will take me in. My sister knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 124

No kidding

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 22:01

Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 260

By Anonymous - 24/08/2019 18:00

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a really stubborn pimple. By the time I felt the cartilage rip, it was too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 1 130

3-in-1

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 02:00

Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 277

No show

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 22:00

Today, I can't seem to let go of what my family had done. Years ago, they spent hundreds, if not a thousand, for gifts on a family friend's baby shower, yet have bought nothing for my shower, which was two months ago, not to mention none of them attended the shower either. They've had the registry for 5 months, and I'm due in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 214

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

By Gold diggerzzzzzzz - 15/03/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is getting married for the 4th time. First it was my mom, then as they got older, he married a woman 10 years his junior, then his third wife was my age and 28 years his junior. Now at the grand old age of 64, he is marrying a 22 year old, 42 years his junior, almost 2 decades younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 127

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 06/09/2023 04:00

Today, my mom died suddenly in a car crash on holiday in Spain. My husband has been struggling not to smile like a Cheshire Cat all fucking day because 1) they hated each other and 2) mom was as rich as Croesus and I’m her only child. I want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 141

King of the hill

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 18:00

Today, my neighbour threw a bucket of muddy water over the fence at us because he said we’d been noisy since 5 a.m., and he was sick of it. We were noisy getting ready for my wedding. The water hit me and all my bridesmaids in our dresses, since we were ready and waiting to get in the limo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 324

Customers…

By Giselle - 14/05/2021 14:01

Today, two girls walked into the clothing store I work in. One of them pulled a shirt from the bottom of a huge stack, knocking it down. One of them asks, "Aren’t your gonna put the stack back together?" The other says, "No, that bitch gets paid to clean that shit up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 109

Good impressions last

By icarlypoop - 11/04/2020 23:00

Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 494

Sir Mix-a-Lot's mom

By MomIsJelly - 23/02/2022 04:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 159

Priorities

By unknown - 26/04/2021 21:30

Today, I was feeling depressed. I overheard my mom crying on the phone. She said, “If my daughter kills herself, who’s going to do the dishes?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 110