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Hey chat

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 09:00

Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 92

Great management skills

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 15:00 - Germany - Kempten (Allgäu)

Today, my boss screamed at me because I didn't do what he'd said, despite him never giving me a specific order. A colleague was supposed to test an app. He can only do that with a tablet. How dare I give the coworker the tablet I was setting up anyway and not a specific one? He is done testing BTW. The app sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 68

OK boomer

By Haldu - 26/07/2026 22:00 - France - Dijon

Today, while waiting for the tram, I gave 50 cents to an unhoused person in his twenties. A boomer then spent exactly 7 minutes, the time it took for my tram to arrive, explaining to me that young people shouldn't be given money, otherwise they wouldn’t want to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 116

They grow up so fast

By NoGrandkids - 06/05/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 100

Your funny uncle

By Anonymous - 03/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I joined the wrong funeral procession, because I thought everyone gathering outside was there for my uncle, so I followed them into the chapel and even hugged two strangers. I didn't realize my mistake until someone started talking about a man I'd never heard of. I had to quietly sneak out in the middle of the service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 174

You have been chosen

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 09:00

Today, I think I was just nominated as a crazy old cat lady. I was sitting in my garden when a stray methodically came back and forth, leaving her three kittens in one of my flowerbeds two feet from me, and now she hasn’t been back all day. I guess I own cats now. Three of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 79

Reddish flag?

By wtf - 19/02/2026 20:00

Today, my wife is two months off her birth control as we want a baby. We haven't had sex once. Every little thing I do annoys her now and she keeps complaining that I stink. I shower daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 70

Pinhead

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 22:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 97

Not the barber on Penny Lane, then

By Jeremy89 - 23/09/2025 09:00

Today, I told my barber, “You cut my hair perfectly this time!” He frowned and said, “This is the first time I’ve cut your hair. Who’s been screwing it up for you?” It’s been him, for the last two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 122

Spillage

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 22:00

Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 136

They didn't yet call them selfies in 2001

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found a box of old photos in my mom's house. This is how I discovered that her and her boyfriend at the time thought it was a great opportunity for a selfie… with the World Trade Center towers billowing smoke behind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 91

Enough!

By PoisonIvy - 26/10/2025 12:00

Today, everything I touch goes wrong or into the trash. Whatever I do at work, I screw up somehow (in new ways every time) and get blamed. I worked for months on something, only for it to be scrapped. I just feel like I should give up on everything, including life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 102

Great start

By Harriett - 20/11/2025 15:00

Today, I made myself a perfect latte and sat down at my desk, feeling pretty good about my day so far. My cat then jumped on the desk, slipped, and kicked my mug directly into my keyboard. The cat looked me confused while coffee seeped into my laptop. It was only 9:02 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 119

Klutz

By Erin Duncan - 09/01/2026 12:00

Today, my klutziness reached a new level. I was walking down a flight of stairs, sneezed, and proceeded to fall down, scraping the crap out of my knees and spraining my dominant wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 70

Fake news

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Hartlepool

Today, my husband told me that his brother has told him that we slept together years ago. We didn't, it's a lie, and I'm so shocked that at first that I was convinced that this must be some sort of joke that I'm waiting to hear the punch line for. It turns out my husband was completely serious and needless to say we argued about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 103

Ouch

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my physical therapist finally conceded and concluded that every pain that I've been having in my hips is nerve pain and that over the counter painkillers won't help with that. What will? Nothing that's over the counter, so I'm going to have to figure out ways to deal with this nerve pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 61

Time flies

By Jonathan - 24/01/2026 12:00

Today, I noticed my unopened box of Viagra passed its 'use by' date three months ago. My sex life ended in 2022. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 75

Love is love

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, it's another day of being madly in love with a girl. We went on a date on Saturday and I’m so in love. I want to have her over to hang out but my parents would freak because I was raised in a devout Christian household. So much for my teenage love story… FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 148

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about plans I've made for next week with his cousin. “What?” he says, “This is the first time I’m hearing of this!” No honey, it's actually the second time I’ve told you about it in as many days, including the exact explanation of how these plans came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 91

Glad to help

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 172

Empathy is never toxic

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was sitting outside of a counseling center waiting for someone, watching an older lady bawl her eyes out as she exited the building. Absolutely broke my heart, because asking her if she was okay would have been intrusive and unasked for... and yet I can't get the sight of her crying out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 134

I don't want to know

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 20:00

Today, I overheard my parents talking. It went something like “Walk it off, you’ll be fine”, “I will not be fine, it’s leaking”, “Well sit on a towel then”, “A man should not squish when he sits”, “Remember that next time you think about doing it to me.” I dread to think what was leaking out of my dad, or where. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 76

Goddamn climate change!

By KittyT - 10/08/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, one year after I purchased my house, I planned to have a fire pit to celebrate. It turned out to be the only rainy day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 91

Squeaker of the house

By Awkward - 13/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I wore new shoes to a wedding. Halfway through the ceremony, the left shoe started squeaking with every step. During the silent vows, I had to walk across the room sounding like an angry rubber duck while people turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 123

Cool

By Shirly - 04/01/2026 00:00

Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 124

Time for plan A

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 22:00

Today, it’s my birthday. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June and was not planning on having another kid. Took a Plan B pill after a rendezvous in August, but found out this AM that I’m pregnant. Guess the Plan B didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 236

Moving on

By Airos4 - 05/12/2025 09:00

Today, my ex-wife got engaged to the guy who she started dating two weeks into our six month "trial separation." I can't even get a date.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 115

Resolutions come and go

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 112

Stained for life

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 03:00 - China

Today, someone left a lipstick in a public laundry machine of our student dormitory. Then, an hour ago, when I put my laundry in it (including my underwear), I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 72

Kinda hot

By SadGf - 05/02/2026 20:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 151

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The Top

Today, I tried to flirt with some firefighters. They were too focused on the fire to notice my hints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 760

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 333

You deserved it 1 073

Today, my teacher gave me a 0% on my personal narrative in my writing class. His only comment on the whole paper was, "Too long, didn't read." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 2 570

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 417

Today, my parents told me that because they found dildos, a rose toy, and condoms in my bedroom, I’m not getting a car for graduation anymore. Also, I have 30 days from my 18th birthday to “find an apartment or something” and “get the hell out” since I’m "such a grown up now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 284

Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 114