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Runner up

By milamadeleine243 - 22/10/2020 14:00

Today, I finished a huge project for work. It took 3+ days and I was very proud of it. Except when I submitted it to my boss, he said that he'd already asked another person to do it. He used that person's project, not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 378

It's never a mannequin

By I heart Kevin from JTL - 20/08/2024 12:00 - Canada - Port Colborne

Today, I was watching a crime drama with my parents. During a tense moment, I casually said, "Oh, I know how to hide a body." They both stared at me in horror, and I had to explain that I meant from watching too many true crime videos on YouTube, not from actual experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 386

Mixed messages

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 22:00

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor pounding on her roof/my floor. I thought she was being a Karen and wanting me to be quiet, even though I wasn’t doing anything. I stomped back defiantly to make a point. Turns out she was having an asthma attack and was asking for help. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 329

Kid A

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 14:01

Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 212

From bad to worse

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 19:04 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 586

You deserved it 66 724

Homestuck

By Alex - 02/04/2023 10:00 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was doing homework when had to leave to help my family out with chores. I didn't mind it of course, but it turns out I could get signed out of the science homework site, and now have no way to sign back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 126

Reluctant teambuilding

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during a Zoom meeting, five out of the six attendees claimed their cameras were broken and were audio only. I get that Zoom meetings suck but come up with a better excuse than that, or just say you prefer to be audio only, Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 429

What are you up to?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 22:00

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s chat with his best friend and saw porn videos. We've been together for four years and I have never seen him send me any porn videos like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 248

Introverts unite (from a distance)!

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to explain to my mum that "introverted" just means "doesn’t like large crowds and likes long periods of solitude." She stubbornly insists it means "antisocial prick not interested in being part of the family, who can move the fuck out of her house" when I turn 18 in 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 153

By qwerty - 27/11/2018 22:08

Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 33

Soggy mess

By Anonymous - 30/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I managed to wash my phone with my laundry. I didn’t realize it was in my jeans until I heard a thudding noise. After rescuing it from the depths of soggy clothes, I tried the rice trick to dry it out. A few hours later, my cat thought it was a new litter tray and promptly pissed in the rice, then spread it all over the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 236

Fight Club

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 14:01

Today, my sons are such idiots that they had a blazing punch-up that put both of them in hospital, all because one of them stole the last cigarette from a packet. Never mind they both have their own cigarettes, but for some reason the theft of this one cigarette was the last straw that lead to a punch up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 323

RIP Travis

By Fucking shithead asshole - 30/03/2026 15:00

Today, I came home to my daughter in her room, crying hysterically. She's been asking for a pet monkey for a few weeks, and my husband got tired of it and told her about Travis the Chimpanzee (don't look it up if you're squeamish). Thanks for ruining her innocence, prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 394

No jokes allowed

By Just a joke - 02/11/2020 05:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 258

The life script

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 13:59

Today, I'm stuck between my absolute resolve to never have children, due to how abhorrent I find the idea of having to raise them to adulthood, and my fear that if I don’t have any, I’ll end up old and alone, probably die alone, and the body won’t be discovered until a neighbour notices the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 564

Gambit

By Chess'nt - 03/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, after a couple days of taking lessons after I decided to learn to play Chess as a hobby, I felt a bit better about my skill level than I was before. Then I got absolutely humbled by five different people. One of them actually said to me, "What Glass Joe is to Punch-Out, you are to chess." It's hard to not be discouraged after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 135

Perfect ending

By Anonymous - 29/01/2022 08:01

Today, I met the most amazing man ever, we were surrounded by a bunch of pretty women, but he picked me. He was so romantic and sweet, and when we were about 2 weeks into the relationship, I wanted to introduce him to my mom, when I woke up and it was all a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 200

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 474

A real friend never lets you go

By Lewis - 08/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

Friendship is no joke

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 81

Alexa, play "These Things Take Time" by The Smiths

By p0isonOreo68 - 08/11/2020 08:03

Today, I broke my glasses, so I scheduled an appointment to get a new pair. The soonest available appointment? November 21st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 121

Purple haze?

By Anonymous - 09/09/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was belting out the lyrics to a song I’ve loved for years, when my friend stopped me and asked why I was singing “kiss this guy.” Confused, I looked up the lyrics and realized I’ve been singing "kiss the sky" wrong for a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 410

They see me rollin'…

By Anonymous - 11/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 476

Won't someone think of the children?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my family got harassed yet again by kids coming over wanting to use our pool. Ever since my parents and I moved in, it's been happening every single day, and then people accuse my parents and hating children when they say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 71

By iFail - 25/12/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 5 499

This charming man

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 105

Thanks for the self-confidence boost

By Tata - 14/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I’m six weeks post-partum. I bought lingerie for the occasion and surprised my husband. It was going well until I took off my corset. He visibly recoiled but kept going to be nice. He insisted we keep the lights off because he “had a headache and his eyes hurt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 124

Greased lightning

By NotMyFootprints - 20/01/2022 14:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 155

Goodbye, I guess

By Pandorian - 18/04/2023 03:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I tried to plan a date with five colleagues for a goodbye-drink together, since I'm leaving the team after two and a half years. They told me it was going to be difficult to pick a date that suited everybody, so they already took into account that it won't be happening. When another colleague left, we went out for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 149

You have been warned

By stay away from my balls! - 16/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 135

Cats are the same

By GrumpyMonk - 21/01/2022 04:58

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 800

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The Top

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 895

You deserved it 1 134

Today, same-sex marriage is finally legal in my country. However, it's taken so long since I got engaged that our perfect wedding venue has gone out of business, and everywhere else is at least three times the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 393

Today, I don't think my neighbours realize that, by getting that dog they have been wanting, they ruined the peace and quiet of the entire neighbourhood, consisting of ten houses. I'm the person underneath whose window that dog barks every day - mostly when I'm either trying to fall asleep or wanting to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 389

Today, after coming home, my apartment reeked of something fierce. Small animals frequently like to crawl under my apartment since I live next to a wooded area. Apparently, skunks are among those who like to visit, and Febreze isn't helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 144

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 1 129

Today, I feel so tired and hungover after going to the office summer party yesterday. I had no alcohol to drink and I left at 10pm, way earlier than all my team. My team drank a lot and stayed until after 1am. They all showed up earlier and looking better than me, while I'm a trainwreck with a bad headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 115