The Top

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Ruins

By Willa - 22/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my friend told me she managed to have sex with the guy who told me he didn’t wanna date me, or even become friends with benefits, because it would “ruin our friendship.” They’ve been friends for about two years. Apparently, her friendship with him is worth “ruining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 181

Not a wife guy

By Anonymous - 24/01/2025 09:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 91

Happy/Sad

By McNuggets - 19/08/2023 08:00

Today, I started the job of my dreams, which I’ve spent 20 years trying to get, only to get a call that my mom, who supported me when no one else would or could, went into a coma. I didn’t even get to tell her I started the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 106

Management balls-up

By lene - 11/03/2021 04:57

Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 162

The neighbor from hell

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, armed with enthusiasm and a trowel, I ventured into my yard to plant some flowers. Not even five minutes later, I managed to dig up the cable line, cutting off not only my TV but the entire building's internet. The only thing that's blooming now is my reputation as the least popular neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 664

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 30/01/2025 00:00 - Ghana

Today, it was confirmed that I have ADHD and moderate OCD. My mom thinks I do it on purpose to seek attention. I'm shy, and I don't even like people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 106

Beaming with pride

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came running with his phone to “show me what our son did.” Was it a funny dance video? No. Was it a neat drawing? No. It was a turd. A foot long turd curled up in the toilet bowl. And it came out of our 5 year-old. He’s his daddy’s boy all right. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 120

Bad car day

By Jess - 12/03/2021 14:01

Today, I got not one but two flat tires after hitting two separate potholes big enough to take chunks out if my original rim and to bend the shit out of my spare. This was in about a 3 mile radius and within minutes of each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 202

The new generation

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 22:00

Today, I got stuck in a bathroom at work with my least favorite coworker. He ranted about Lady Gaga the entire 15 minutes the lock was broken. I’m third generation don’t give a fuck! FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 182

Parenting in 2021

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 00:30 - United States

Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 122

External validation

By Anonymous - 09/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 106

Dangling

By Jeff comes unstuck - 31/08/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I was cleaning my car when I hit the automatic window button while I was vacuuming in between the door and the driver's seat, and got stuck halfway out, in full view of my neighbor. He had to come get me out, because I couldn't reach the button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 241

By any means necessary

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 00:02

Today, I actually pondered shaving off my eyebrows so I wouldn't have to go back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 297

Karen in seat 14A

By Dammit - 16/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 478

OK Shaggy

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 08:01 - United States - Randolph

Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 127

Where did it all go wrong?

By Tang - 06/09/2023 10:00

Today, my last 2 ex-girlfriends, who each left me for someone else, are either travelling the world, own multiple online shops, and both are drop dead gorgeous. I have to work a full-time job while my health deteriorates from stress, bills pile up, and having been sexless for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 218

Why weren't we invited?

By beccaboo_96 - 18/02/2025 09:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, and since Valentine's Day when we got married at the courthouse, which was supposed to be a secret but my husband and I ended up on the news, we've been getting several calls from family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 193

Crazy stalker vibes

By Why her and not me though - 08/09/2023 06:00

Today, I saw the guy I was seeing four months ago, who lives in another state, hand in hand with a girl at the mall. The same one who told me he "doesn’t do long distance." I went up to them, confronted him about it, and demanded to know why her and not me. He pretended not to know me and threatened to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 977

Tears for Fears

By Mike - 25/03/2021 00:30

Today, I realized that not only do I dream about sleeping or passing out, but that those are the best ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sunroof because one of my coworkers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sunroof. To laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 426

You deserved it 42 476

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was standing at our fence welcoming our new neighbors as they moved in. My 85-pound boxer thought it would be a good idea to start sprinting along the fence line so their dog would join in. He crashed into my right knee at full speed. I now have a sprained and/or torn MCL and PCL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 178

Put some steel toe boots on

By TheMadKian - 17/09/2023 10:00

Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 277

SAT down

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 00:00

Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 879

Don't print this FML

By NeverCheckOnFamily - 04/06/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I checked on an uncle following his surgery. I got a two-hour monologue of how the internet doesn't really save paper, because he has to print the bills and receipts, plus pay for ink and staples, and that utility companies are really just shifting costs to the consumer by going "paperless". FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 178

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 05:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 89

Custom job

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my toddler threw up on my one week old pair of white shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 226

Pissed

By anonymous - 19/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 280

You deserved it 15 478

Wait, what?

By Bradley Earl - 01/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, my girlfriend was a mystic and I'd told her not to use FML because it seemed negative. I think it feels controlling and I don't want that. I also deleted a file that was about fear of her husband dying because she lost her dad. I wish I could go back and be on FML too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 476

Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 11:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 192

Streaker alert!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I was walking through a park when I saw someone running toward me. I thought he was jogging but quickly realized he was wearing nothing other than a grin. As he passed me, he yelled, “I’m freeeee!” I’m still trying to figure out why that was the moment I decided to take a sip of my coffee, because the shock made it come out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 95

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The Top

Today, I started a new job as a school bus driver. I was sent on the hardest route in the area, and not 5 minutes in I came across a broke down truck in the middle of the road. I was stuck behind him for over an hour with a bus full of elementary school kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 311

You deserved it 894

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 682

You deserved it 1 908

Today, I got yelled at in a grocery store by a customer who recognized me from the pizza place where I work. Apparently, I forgot mushrooms on her pizza earlier this afternoon. I had the day off, but thanks for the verbal lashing, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 821

You deserved it 1 895

Today, my check engine light came on. I took my car to the dealership, to be told it wasn’t an issue, and I would be fine to drive and use my car normally until my appointment in 4 days. Four hours later, my car won’t start 45 minutes from home. I guess a $200 tow bill means I wasn’t fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 190

Today, our cat is in heat. Her male counterpart is sitting outside my bedroom door, serenading her loudly, and has sprayed his piss all over the house, making sure she cannot escape him broadcasting his availability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 1 266

Today, I found out my boyfriend of almost 10 years was/is a Sugar Daddy to a girl I know, for the past 7 months or so. I found out through a mutual friend.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 111