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The happy couple

By Sexless - 18/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, on our honeymoon, my wife still won't have sex with me. When I brought it up, she started crying and said she's still "not ready" for sex. We're both in our late twenties. When the fuck will she be ready? FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 240

Projection

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was getting ready to go pick up a few things for much-needed projects around the house, when I heard my husband yelling from the basement. The lawnmower had kicked a rock through the expensive sliding glass door we just finished paying off. The rattling refrigerator may have to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 142

FML is open 24/7 for you

By Anonymous - 18/12/2023 12:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, it’s been about two and a half months since I entered into a severe, borderline suicidal depressive episode. My psychiatrist prescribed a new antidepressant to go with my mood stabilizer, but it will take up to a month to kick in. Looks like it’s gonna be a blue Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 148

Help out or get out

By ToxicFamily - 20/06/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, I had an very long day at work. I also had to take my daughter to the dentist and ballet class. Later, my 3 year-old son was having a diarrhoea, needing care, yet I pulled myself up, cooked, fed, read, cleaned the whole house except the kids' bedroom. My brother-in-law came, looked only at that and judged me horribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 80

You OK in there?

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 206

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, some guy has been routinely parking in my designated spot outside my block of flats, so I thought I’d teach him a lesson by putting a clamp on his tyre. I later went outside, and not only had he cut the clamp off, he’d left me a note basically saying, "Better luck next time, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 279

Any advice?

By aw jeez - 25/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 112

Piss poor excuse, dude

By Anonymous - 27/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 8 years is still cheating on me with the girl that he was caught sexting on my birthday back in July. His response was that if I didn't hang out with my friends on the weekends, he wouldn't have to find someone to entertain him all week. We live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 280

Justifiable anger

By Well shit - 27/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I completed a jigsaw puzzle. Almost. You see, there's a problem: One of the pieces is an exact duplicate of another, and the actual missing piece is… gone. So there's one empty space and one piece that doesn't fit. Words cannot describe how irrationally angry this makes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 149

Experimental cuisine

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I packed my lunch meticulously: salad, sandwich, fruit. Then I put the entire thing in my backpack, on top of what turned out to be a leaky water bottle. By lunch, I was faced with eating a soggy mess of lettuce soup and bread mush. It was not great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 115

Think before you move

By Anonymous - 30/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Waverly

Today, after I moved across country to move in with my best friend, she decided to move in with her boyfriend a month into me being here. I don't know anyone here. She hasn't been home in 4 months and recently any time we've made plans, she stands me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 180

That's kind of a big issue

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 02:30

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years, who I love with every fiber in my body, just told me that he's not attracted to me. Not in any way, shape, or form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 141

Sent from my beach towel

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I meant to send a cheeky “I’m out of the office” reply to my team but instead hit “reply all” on an email chain with my entire company, including my boss, HR, and some clients. The message included a joke about “sleeping through meetings” that was NOT work-appropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 655

Good boy

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom bought me a puppy. I’m single, I work 14 hour days, my life is in no way suitable for pet ownership, but mom won’t take him back because she thinks I need to learn adult responsibility. I’m a senior technician with a team of 17 people, I couldn’t be more responsible if I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 107

Been there

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 09:00 - Portugal

Today, I'm in love with my friend, and he's in love with me. The problem? We're both married to other people. We're not acting on it and we're going to do the right thing, which is letting it go, but my heart is broken in a million pieces right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 647

Cut short

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 22:00 - Ireland

Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 108

Grey sweater gang rise up

By Anonymous - 13/01/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, my partner and I went over to my mum’s for dinner. She’s not a formal person, so he wore a black fleece sweater. It was a nice, relaxed evening, until we got home and I had to attack him with the lint roller for what felt like half an hour. Yes, my mom has cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 191

Cause for concern?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, I looked at the supplements my boyfriend puts in the protein shakes we both drink. To my horror, most of them listed "boosts libido" or "increased fertility" as benefits. When I confronted him, he said ,"So? I drink them too, it's not like I'm drugging you or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 348

By pinknicki87 - 03/02/2014 17:34 - United States - Charleston

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 480

You deserved it 5 446

pinknicki87 tells us more.

pinknicki87 5

Thursday 6 February 2014 18:41

OP here. Thank you so much for all your kind and supportive words. I seem to be emotional over everything lately. Thank goodness I have such a supportive husband. I know everything happens for a reason, and we will find the perfect crib. Obviously that one wasn't meant to be.

Concentrate

By um…ew - 14/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my friend and I were having a conversation in the ladies’ room. Suddenly, we hear banging from one of the stalls and, “Can you talk somewhere else? Some of us are trying to poop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 961

Work it out

By Stevey - 17/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 372

Breaking the law (and bones)

By Carl - 18/09/2022 20:30

Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 94

Unreasonable

By Busting my hump - 17/01/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm on my sixth straight day of double shifts, with four more to go. I make overtime so I'm not complaining, but today my wife texted me, "Going out of town tonight, I expect the house to be spotless when I return." Not sure how I'm going to swing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 130

Challenge accepted

By WHY would you do that - 19/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband "challenged" my daughter: if she could eat a whole raw onion, she could stay up as late as she wanted. I now have an onion with a whole bunch of little bites taken out, a pile of stinking onion puke, a crying daughter, and a husband laughing like a hyena. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 24/04/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 308

You deserved it 7 470

The heart wants what the heart wants

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I care more and have stronger feelings for my boss/best friend than my boyfriend, and can't tell either of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 577

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 494

You deserved it 5 296

Snow day

By J…… - 21/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Coventry

Today, is the second time this week that school is delayed because of snow or "extreme ice." It's like we're Texas now, they get 2 inches of snow and the whole state gets shut down, but no, I live in Rhode Island. I gotta go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 147

Truth bombs

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 12:00 - Trinidad and Tobago - Arima

Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 82

Startled

By Achoo - 24/09/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 344

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The Top

The Top

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 681

You deserved it 5 548

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 2 634

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 228

You deserved it 6 052

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 854

You deserved it 4 142

Today, my boyfriend got a raise after working at a company for 3 months. I'm proud of him, but I've been working at the company for almost 2 years, trying to get to his position. My parents own the company and put him there when they hired him, and now he makes more than me, thanks to their raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 567

You deserved it 957

Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 202