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Knock yourself out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 103

Sending hugs

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 09:00 - United States - North Augusta

Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 67

Nervous wreck

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I kept running into the same guy in every aisle of the supermarket. By the fifth time, I nervously joked, “I guess we’re destined to be soulmates.” He gave me a deadpan look and replied, “I work here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 473

Overly polite in public

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 134

The status quo is fine

By starlight starbright - 15/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was chewed out and blocked by several of my “friends” because I never post anything political, and am therefore right wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 129

Practice run

By Oops - 18/02/2024 12:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I went to console my cousin because I'd heard that her dog had passed away. As I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her extremely old and feeble (but still very much alive) dog. Turns out my friend was talking about HIS cousin, and I simply misheard. Trying to explain that to her was mighty awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 186

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 88

Sneezy

By Karen - 20/10/2022 00:00 - United States - Kent

Today, I rang up a very rude customer. He was covered in cat hair and so were his reusable shopping bags. I’m very allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 122

Basic terrorism

By Fuck ICE - 23/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to Home Depot with my boyfriend. There were a large number of men at the front of the store speaking Spanish. As we left, he ran back inside shouting, "LA MIGRA! LA MIGRA ESTA AQUI!" They screamed and ran in panic. I am dating a racist scumbag who thinks terrorizing minorities is funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 465

Bless her heart

By oh honey - 22/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old reacted with shock and horror when she learned that a single utility bill can amount to more than 200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 164

Basic private equity tactic

By Left out - 26/08/2025 03:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, the guy I picked on in high school got his revenge. He bought out my dad's car shop above market value and then closed it. My dad doesn't care, he gets to retire early, while I get to watch something I'd hoped to inherit get torn down and sold off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 1 037

Snotty

By Snot monster - 29/08/2025 03:00 - Poland

Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 151

Things hate me

By WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 110

Knackered

By Jim - 31/08/2025 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 156

Insane parents

By mermyth - 28/10/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 138

Varied diet

By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 12:00 - United States - Sutton

Today, and for the last six months, my mom has been feeding my Huskies human food behind my back. It's not only table scraps, it's ridiculous amounts of food. I've asked her to stop but she doesn't respect me, and I know she only does it to get on my nerves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 114

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 161

Caturday treat!

By Smarty Cat - 29/10/2022 18:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I watched as my friend played dead to see how her cat would react. She got upset when he just sniffed her hand and walked away. I tried to explain to her that he was smart enough to figure out she was faking it, but I got called a "know-it-all." Jeez, sorry that cats are more intelligent than you thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 155

No kidding

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, eight months into our marriage, my husband decided to let me know he never wanted kids so he had a vasectomy years ago. He seemed surprised he hadn’t mentioned it before, like ever. I love him but I don’t like him very much right now. In fact, I don’t like him at all right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 207

Great housekeeping trap tip

By Gnome alone - 04/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 613

Overfamiliarity

By Anon office worker - 07/09/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 366

Good luck

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 15:00

Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 71

Pipe down

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I have mono. This means I need to sleep a lot, under doctor's orders. My dad has decided it's okay to to play loud bluegrass music and leave the TV on old movies in which women scream hysterically at all hours, and gets pissed at me when I tell him to turn it down. I feel like an old man raising a manchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 91

Stalkers everywhere

By Anonymous - 10/09/2025 22:00

Today, I got another "secret admirer" letter from someone at work. I'm now talking to the police, yet again, because I'm a middle school teacher and suspect it was from one of my underage students. Nobody warned me about this when I became a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 111

Timewaster

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I spent the afternoon transplanting a whole bunch of corn seedlings that sprouted, even turning over the new soil with compost and fertiliser. While watering them in, I realised they're actually all just weeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 656

Warehouse blues

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 22:00

Today, I got up early to wait for my new sofa to be delivered. I spent yesterday taking apart and getting rid of my old crappy sofa. At midday, the furniture shop said they'd cancelled my order due to not having enough of that model in stock. Even if I re-order a sofa now, it's 2 weeks until they can deliver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 84

Corporate shenanigans

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job because I called out my supervisor for withholding my W-2s (wage and tax statements). I know full well it's a retaliatory action. However, the store manager is ducking all my calls when I try to report it. I can't afford a lawyer, especially when the company is a multi-billion dollar brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 126

I blame the parents

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 22:00

Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 171

I'm OK, I swear

By Anonymous - 18/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered fries at a drive-thru, then drove away without paying. Realizing my mistake, I panicked and circled back, only to drive past the window again. The worker just stared at me as if I was pulling off the slowest robbery in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 333

Yup, cool

By fiddlercrab - 10/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had the pleasure of having a kidney stones removal procedure where they hammer your kidneys to break up the stones. Afterwards, the doctor called my wife over the intercom to come to back to the waiting room. She freaks out, runs back, and the doctor says, “I just wanted to show this stone. Cool huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 124

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The Top

Today, despite driving extremely slowly and cautiously, we slid off the road due to ice and snow. The car hit a rock and the airbags deployed. We were in my 3-month-old car because the engine in my husband's truck blew last week. Merry Christmas to us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 764

You deserved it 826

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 599

You deserved it 5 422

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 161

You deserved it 7 139

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 040

You deserved it 39 369

Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 262

You deserved it 86 292

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 415

You deserved it 3 331