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Ruined

By fuck gangnam style in the anus - 20/10/2012 22:48 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 117

You deserved it 2 870

The hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 133

By cuntsmom - 24/09/2013 04:47 - United States

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 580

You deserved it 3 468

My idea of fun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 3 921

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 150

You deserved it 1 982

Tedious

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 10:00 - United States - Boiling Springs

Today, I realized that I’m so used to be stood up or ghosted for dates that I don’t even bother getting ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 161

By zacharynedley - 06/01/2015 00:16 - United States - Elkridge

Today, I got fired from my job because my boss thinks that me doing everything he says makes me untrustworthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 757

You deserved it 2 359

Revealed

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 943

You deserved it 83 512

Hypocritical

By creepingjennie - 09/12/2021 04:59

Today, I realized that the only thing that relieves my chronic facial pain is vaping CBD. I previously was very vocal about how much I hate smoking and vaping. My kids think I'm a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 1 058

Take deep breath…

By paininthe*ss - 13/02/2023 00:00

Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 135

Superficial

By Jackielynn - 22/01/2026 00:00

Today, my new husband told me, “If you ever get comfortable during the marriage I’m leaving. So I’m getting you a gym membership to keep that body in check.” When I protested, he told me, “How would you feel if I packed pounds and look like Jabba The Hutt?” My silence was punctuated by an “Exactly.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 476

By Wolf145 - 11/10/2012 05:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 867

You deserved it 2 222

Never leave evidence

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 02:00

Today, I asked my crush out, after a year of liking her. What did she do? She laughed, took a screenshot of it, and sent it to her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 150

Misery loves Caturday

By Sara - 18/02/2023 14:00

Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 184

Mud bogging

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 173

Medicare for all

By Chad - 06/09/2020 19:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I had to have emergency work done on my teeth after I seized in the shower and smashed my face into the tub. Apparently, the dental insurance I'd been paying for but had never used ended its coverage 4 days ago, because my job was no longer working with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 106

Risky business

By Alexa - 21/02/2023 18:00

Today, I had sex with my landlord. As if that's not bad enough, my period hit, and I bled everywhere. His place is a total bloodbath and I'm worried that he's going to ask me to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 1 291

By Anonymous - 08/11/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 298

You deserved it 3 538

Neighbours from hell

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 17:01

Today, despite not having noisy kids, barking dogs or do I play loud music, yet apparently I still cause enough noise by walking around and watching TV that the neighbours called the cops with a noise complaint. The cops actually came. Since when is living quietly in my own home a police matter? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 124

Run for the hills

By Stuck - 26/02/2023 04:00 - Canada - Old Perlican

Today, I've been engaged for 2+ years to a man who asks every day who i've spoken to and accuses me of cheating when I talk to people outside of my family. When he's home, I have to watch him talk on the phone to every person who calls. This is considered our time together. Then he wants sex. I know I'm stupid for staying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 1 870

By queenofdeath - 16/01/2010 18:16 - Israel

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 973

You deserved it 12 358

Conflicting mismanagement

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a field engineer decided to rework everyone's schedule, just because he couldn't be bothered to do a full day's work. Now two of us who would've been busy all day are sat on our phones, and he's off out on "errands". How a day goes depends on how bothered he can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 84

Goodbye Dreams

By FML Videos - 15/10/2018 00:00

Keep chasing them!

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 73

The Lovecats

By Yudith - 19/12/2021 07:59

Today, my two cats, who I'm slowly easing into being together, seem to like the fight they had yesterday. My older cat goes to my new cat's room to mew until I open the door, then lunges at my new cat, and my new cat goes to the barrier until he sees my old cat, and they start their shenanigans again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 215

What? Why?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 1 134

Disappointed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Padstow

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wanted to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 837

You deserved it 3 961

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 21:56 - Isle of Man

Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 901

You deserved it 47 656

By BrokeInLove - 30/06/2009 19:55 - France

Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over two hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 225

You deserved it 52 084

Cosmopolitan's 50 Top Tips for Lonely Saddos!

By opposites don’t attract - 16/09/2020 20:03 - United States

Today, I was so sad and lonely, so I started browsing articles about how to get a man. Basically every list was naming the exact opposite of everything I am. So I guess if I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, I have to change everything about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 372

Terminally offended

By whicks1892 - 18/12/2021 16:58

Today, I bought a shirt for my 5 year-old, which said, "I tried to be good, but I take after my Grandpa!" I thought it was a cute joke, but my mother-in-law said, "So you mean his grandpa isn't good? And that's why your son isn't good?" Despite my husband adding, "She bought this shirt. It was a joke, mom" they're still offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 199

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The Top

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 938

You deserved it 1 976

Today, I had to hide some Oreos inside my bra to motivate my husband to get close to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 233

You deserved it 1 879

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 491

You deserved it 10 102

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 757

You deserved it 2 743

Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 9 858

Today, I sent a great-quality booty pic to two of my love interests. Instead of sending it individually, I accidentally made a group chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 8 762