Today, I finished negotiating my divorce with my ex-wife who is a lawyer. I spent more on legal fees than she has made from working in any of the last 5 years. It's hard for a lawyer to make so little in Canada, I'm glad that law degree, which I paid for, saved her so much money in legal fees. I hate all lawyers. Scum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, via legal bollocks, I got nothing from my husband in the divorce, even though he cheated on me. On my wage, I can’t afford to live in this area anymore, so I have to move and quit my job to get another job wherever I end up moving. This is why people hate lawyers. FML
Today, we got the bill from our lawyer. She'd recommended taking my common-law wife's ex-husband to court for child support, so we went to court and won. The judge awarded us over $8300! The bill came to $18,000. FML
Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML
Today, my lawyer let me know that due to the rising costs of living, her rate has increased to $565 an hour. That's more 20 times my pay. I'm not even getting a cost of living increase. FML
Today, my lawyer lied to me about how much of a settlement she won for my workplace accident. I got £20,000, but she lied and kept £55,000 for herself. My lawyer is my wife, and she claims she’s entitled to that money since she’s the one who’s really suffered caring for me during my recovery. FML
Today, in a moment reminiscent of Two and a Half Men, my divorce lawyer screwed me over and gave my soon-to-be-ex-wife 90% of everything. I now need to pay a new lawyer to fix what she screwed up. And yes, she was lashing out at me because my brother had sex with her then never called her back. FML
Today, I can’t divorce my lazy, unemployed, shopping-addicted, cheating wife because her father is one of the best, sleaziest, underhanded divorce lawyers in our city. FML
Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML
Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML
Today, after 25 years of marriage, my parents decided to get a very nasty and extremely expensive divorce. Using my college tuition to pay for it. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Hey now. We’re not all bad, just…well, divorce lawyers are. But if you ever get in a car accident and need a lawyer for personal injury, you’ll be thanking that lawyer.
hdisnfjs91 21
She shouldn’t have been allowed to work the case, it should have been someone else that is a third party.
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Comments (5)
poopface82 25
Hey now. We’re not all bad, just…well, divorce lawyers are. But if you ever get in a car accident and need a lawyer for personal injury, you’ll be thanking that lawyer.
pfmarshallx 7
Moral of the story, if you’re a straight eligible modern man in the West don’t ever get married. Because marriage is the only contract where SHE literally gets rewarded for breaking it. Case in point
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why would you allow your soon to be ex-wife to be your lawyer? Nothing good could possibly come from that.
XRP123 11
She was not my lawyer. She made as little as $11K as a lawyer a few years ago(Kids were in school full time). But she had lots of time and energy to represent herself against me. So while she was incapable of making money for the family when we were married, she is very good at costing me a fortune during the divorce. The proverb a person who represents themself has a fool for a client was never more true. Divorce is way too emotional a subject to represent yourself. And in Canada, everything in the law is grey and so the only winners are lawyers.
hdisnfjs91 21
She shouldn’t have been allowed to work the case, it should have been someone else that is a third party.
Nico97 3
@pfmarshallx true that. most women want a wedding not a marriage to work on. Don’t make yourself miserable lads.