The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

New receipe just dropped

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, feeling ravenous and hungover, I sneakily ate my roommate’s leftover pizza. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t pizza, it was a frozen waffle with ketchup and cheese they’d left in the box as a trap. I fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 108

By Anonymous - 16/07/2019 00:01

Today, I went in for I thought would be an interview for a promotion, but turns out there was no interview set up, and they'd already decided who would be the next manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 134

Maxed out

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 22:00

Today, my daughter took her ex to court for child support. After the judge was done, she ended up having to pay support to him, and since she was the one who took him to court just for money, her ex now hates her and will make sure to collect every penny he’s owed, even though she only works part time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 620

Parents of the year

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 15:00

Today, I got to experience the rare pleasure of overhearing my divorcing parents admit that neither of them want full custody of me, or even shared custody, and then planning to guilt one of my grandparents into accepting custody instead. God I hate them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 105

Before I forget…

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 18:01

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 88

Mute

By Gassy Gal - 21/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 320

Set them free

By Seriously?! - 31/08/2023 06:00

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 162

Overreaction

By Harley Osborne - 08/06/2022 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm recovering from an emergency room visit. I was vomiting, sweating, shaking, crying, and couldn't even speak properly. I was scared of that, and scared of hospitals after a routine surgery nearly killed me two years ago. Most of my family are convinced I was faking all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 148

Losing my mind

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my smartphone, all while still holding my smartphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 394

No chemistry

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, It's Valentine's Day. I'm single and in college, where everyone is posting their S.O.s and going on dates. I'm intensely introverted and shy, and I have a crush but I'm way too scared to ever tell him, and I'm going to spend my evening alone studying organic chemistry. Honestly, I just feel nerdy and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 12:00

Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 213

Dank

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to a weird smell in my apartment. I checked everywhere but couldn’t find the source. After a while, I discovered the smell was coming from the pile of laundry I'd left in the corner, laundry that I thought was clean. It was the gym clothes I'd thrown in there three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 631

You need to leave

By trash your own house!! - 09/09/2023 06:00

Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 114

TMI

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 04:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 118

Sixth sense

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 22:00

Today, I walked in the house as though I was coming home from work on a normal day, fully clothed and carrying my work bag, but somehow my dad still knew I hadn’t been to work, but was in fact doing the evening version of the walk of shame, after spending all day in bed with my booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 224

Come to think of it, no, you didn't

By fail land - 02/04/2021 05:00

Today, some asswipe keyed a swastika into my car. Did I mention it’s a rental? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 94

My dad, the goober

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 04:00

Today, my dad continues to make jokes about the rude things he does to avoid dealing with people who try to point out that he's seriously a massive douchebag, and is overall just unpleasant to be around. I have no idea why my mom married this man and had three children with him, let alone why they're still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 126

Who wants to be a millionaire?

By Not telling you in a million years - 03/03/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 290

Significant other

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 02:00

Today, my Apple Watch notified me that my long-term exposure to loud noises may be dangerous to my hearing. I’ve been crying since my SO left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 206

Words is hard

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I went for an interview at a great company. Everything was going well until I tried to demonstrate my knowledge of their industry by using a technical term. Turns out I'd completely misunderstood the term and used it in the wrong context. The interviewer raised an eyebrow, and I could see "Don't call us, we'll call you" flicker in their eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 718

Supportive siblings are the best

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 22:00

Today, my brother celebrated 10 years of denying I exist with a Facebook post celebrating “My departed brother.” I’ve been self-secluded for 10 years with schizophrenia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 165

Are ya winning, son?

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son has taken over the bathroom, crying because he almost lost his virginity but finished in 10 seconds in his pants. I’d have more sympathy for him except I’ve got IBS and the other 4 people who live here all need to pee. If he doesn’t come out soon, I’ll have to kick the door in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 104

Knackered

By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Altrincham

Today, I got home after working 14 hours completely exhausted and found my wife asleep, after not sleeping for at least 4 nights with our newborn. She woke up and couldn’t remember where she'd left the baby. After a mad panic, she remembered that he's with her mother. We are not coping very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 178

Coco bananas

By Mary - 04/10/2023 08:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, a man came to fix my fridge. He was either on meth or crazy, because he yelled that it was an unsafe work environment, all because my puppy growled at him behind an 8ft fence. He got so crazy, my sick dog had a seizure. I sent the video to his manager, who said we just had a difference in personalities. I agree, I was polite, he was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 171

Plumbed out

By Jeff101 - 25/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 587

It's the big T

By Annoyed - 28/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment building to drive to work. I walked up to my car when I noticed someone had written "FUCK ELON" on the hood. I guess some protesters can't spell, which explains how they'd confused "Toyota" for "Tesla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 76

No good role models these days

By Anonymous - 01/04/2025 14:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, after another failed relationship, I started thinking about role models for what I could do better next time. After going through every relationship and marriage among my family and friends, I realized that almost all either already ended or are worse than the one I just left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 101

Haunted hotel

By Anonymous - 21/06/2022 22:00 - Germany - Ingelheim

Today, I'm on vacation in Germany and in our seemingly normal hotel my fucking door won't stop opening and closing by itself, and I can't fucking sleep. Jesus Christ ghost, go away, I don't wanna die as well. I thought this hotel would be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 451

Hypocrite much?

By hip hip hypocrisy - 14/10/2023 02:30

Today, I was written up and given a penalty for being 3 minutes late to class. By my instructor. Who was 17 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 110

Sharing is caring

By T…… - 15/10/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 150

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The Top

Today, I was using the bathroom at McDonald's when my wallet fell out of my pocket. A lady reached into my stall and tried to grab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 113

You deserved it 2 978

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 519

You deserved it 9 553

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes; mine said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 839

You deserved it 5 488

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 885

You deserved it 40 826

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 850

You deserved it 64 734

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 902

You deserved it 63 775