The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 28 October 2026, 12:00 ·San Bernardino, United States

What are you doing?

Today, my boyfriend proposed with his grandmother’s ring in front of a huge crowd of all our friends. It might have been romantic if he hadn’t stolen the ring from his parents' safe and if we weren’t juniors in high school. Now everyone thinks I’m a huge bitch for saying no in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 55

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Bram · 29 June 2022, 00:00

Superficial

Today, I confessed to my husband that after having my eating disorder under control the last two years, I've relapsed the last three months. He responded by telling me to keep it up, because he wants to have the hottest wife out of all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284 You deserved it 142

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NeedANewWindshield · 24 August 2019, 14:00

Angry much?

Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 18 April 2021, 21:30 ·Ballarat, Australia

Classic brain fart

Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136 You deserved it 607

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Anonymous · 31 October 2026, 22:00 ·United States

As in 2 Kings 2:23-25: Let the kids have fun! What's the worst that could happen?

Today, I'm being shamed like crazy for allowing my children to celebrate Halloween, even though I'm a Christian, to the point that I can't ignore it. What's wrong with kids having an imagination? FML

I agree, your life sucks 288 You deserved it 48

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Anonymous · 20 April 2021, 08:00

Too good to be true

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 127

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Shaggy · 11 October 2023, 15:00

Lost

Today, I agreed to go on a last-minute road trip with my friends. Everything was going great until we realized we had no GPS signal in the middle of nowhere. We ended up following a "shortcut" suggested by a farmer and got stuck in a muddy field for hours, with livestock giving us judgmental looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 421

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Anonymous · 4 April 2025, 03:00 ·Anaheim, United States

Stir crazy

Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 101

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Anonymous · 14 July 2022, 16:00 🌶️ Spicy

Nothing to be ashamed of

Today, a friend was trying to show me memes on her phone when I noticed she had a few tabs open. I told her she was draining her battery and should close them. She opened them. Two were sex toy store pages. She was so embarrassed that she kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022 You deserved it 511

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Anonymous · 19 October 2023, 20:00

Exploitation

Today, I went to work on my day off for some overtime. I’m not to leave my position until relief arrives. Twelve hours after my shift was supposed to be over, my boss calls me, asking if I can work another 8 hours at a different post, not knowing I’ve already worked 20 hours straight because the system rebooted. I didn’t get paid overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846 You deserved it 205

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JesusLaidAnEgg · 10 September 2019, 14:02

Alexa, play "A Forest" by The Cure

Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625 You deserved it 257

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Anonymous · 21 October 2023, 05:00

PTSD Andy

Today, poorly applied makeup made it look like I have a black eye in most of my wedding photos. I would have laughed it off, but I was showing them to my brother who was deployed during the actual wedding. He saw the black eye, assumed it was domestic abuse, and attacked my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731 You deserved it 172

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Dick. · 13 May 2021, 22:01 🌶️ Spicy

Worst father ever

Today, my father was watching the story on the TV news of a girl who was killed by an Uber driver when trying to return home. The only thing he said was, "Serves her well for being a slut." I have two younger sisters and one among them had a miscarriage after her abusive ex-boyfriend raped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668 You deserved it 144

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Anonymous · 1 May 2025, 09:00 ·Jesteburg, Germany

Close proximity

Today, I am appalled that my neighbor was fired from his job. Not because I pity him, but because now he will not only light his stinking grill under my living room window every single night, but also play his radio outside all day long. Also right under my window. His garden is HUGE by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 109

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Uh oh · 3 May 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Alexa, play "Here Comes the Summer" by The Undertones

Today, I put my AC in my room again in preparation for summer. However, I forgot that my cat messed up the accordion while climbing the window like an idiot, so it no longer closes properly. So there is now an opening in the window that I can't do anything about. Hello, insects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315 You deserved it 185

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sadrainindeed · 11 November 2023, 10:00 ·United States

Emotional support please

Today, I cried myself to sleep. Last night too, and the night before that, and the nights before those. But I guess that’s what life is, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 137

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dummy · 22 July 2022, 02:00

Exciting!

Today, the most excitement in my week has been getting my new electric toothbrush in the post. I honestly can’t wait for it to charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756 You deserved it 214

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Anonymous · 1 June 2021, 06:01

Right in the nuts

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740 You deserved it 255

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Perthgal96 · 15 November 2023, 22:00 ·Perth, Australia

Oh well, you tried

Today, I got my pendulum board and I was asking it questions when my mum asked me to ask it if her and 'Jose' will be together. The same person/catfish who scammed 7 thousand dollars from her. She didn't believe me when the board said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 140

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Kassy · 16 May 2025, 22:00 ·Leeds, United Kingdom

Falling

Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 You deserved it 345

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Anonymous · 19 May 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Not my problem

Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813 You deserved it 82

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Vickie · 18 June 2021, 16:00

Free healthcare for all

Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 130

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tongue tied · 16 August 2022, 04:00

All shook up

Today, at work at a beauty salon, I was explaining to a mom and her daughter about how we were going to style their hair, and the processes involved. I tripped over my words, saying, "We’ll start with a wash and a blowjob." Pretty sure from the way they stomped out I might not have a job tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887 You deserved it 206

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Jet · 30 November 2023, 19:00 ·United States

ADHD life hack

Today, I tried a new productivity hack of setting multiple alarms to remind me of tasks. Instead, I spent the entire day in a cacophony of alarms, confusing myself to the point where I forgot what I was actually supposed to be doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 You deserved it 592

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Anonymous · 7 December 2023, 15:00 ·Australia

Let's offroad!

Today, my GPS led me to a "shortcut" that took me through a winding dirt road in the middle of nowhere. My car got stuck in the mud, and the tow truck driver told me I was the third person he's pulled out this week from the same "shortcut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 559 You deserved it 180

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Covid_countdown · 25 August 2022, 12:00

Sleeping on the kitchen floor

Today, my fiancée and I slept in separate rooms, even though we're now considered married based on a Congolese ceremony we had, because I got Covid. We will have two bedrooms in our next place, but the lease starts next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640 You deserved it 206

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worst birthday ever · 20 August 2022, 16:00

You don't like the thumpa-thumpa music??

Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 20 August 2022, 12:00

Ring of fire

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764 You deserved it 293

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Coco · 2 September 2022, 02:00 ·Noida, India

Feedback

Today, an interviewer kept me waiting for 20 minutes at reception, then marked me "late" in his feedback. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 4 July 2025, 09:00 ·United States

The hero we need

Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268 You deserved it 468

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