The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

OnTheReceivingEnd · 29 February 2024, 22:00 ·Mesa, United States

Funny how it's never the other way around

Today, I got the letter from the IRS that would FINALLY enable me to get the tax return I was supposed to get two weeks ago because they needed to confirm my identity. I logged on, entered the information, and was told that I would get my return… after "up to 9 weeks for processing." I need to pay bills NOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475 You deserved it 187

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Anonymous · 13 September 2025, 22:00

Having a bad day?

Today, one of my dogs spilled half my coffee at home. My other dog drank the rest of it. Went to Starbucks later, picked my coffee up off the counter, and the lid popped off, spilling all over the counter, floor and my hand. While they were making me a new one, I dropped my sandwich on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280 You deserved it 157

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Anonymous · 12 March 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Average White Sox fan

Today, I had to explain to one of my friends that the cap he likes to wear makes people look at us funny in public. He thinks it's just the White Sox logo. It's styled like the baseball team's logo, but it actually says "Sex". I had to show him both side by side for him to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425 You deserved it 117

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Gunaditya Tripathi · 14 August 2021, 10:01 ·India

Dogshit code

Today, one of my colleagues was asked to rewrite an entire project, which I wrote last week. I'd spent more than 4 days writing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792 You deserved it 179

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Anonymous · 8 November 2022, 02:00

I can't win

Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 18 August 2021, 22:01

GIVE ME BOOZE, NOW!

Today, I got a change of ID. My old ID had its corner cut off and was given a temporary paper ID. I went to a bar in another town to have some drinks. Turns out I couldn't because they couldn't use my old ID or my temporary one to let me drink, even though I'm 22. I've been there before and I work at my town's liquor store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876 You deserved it 174

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Hannah · 14 August 2021, 20:01 ·Tauranga, New Zealand

There is a light that sometimes goes out

Today, I saw a light switch on in the hallway at school, so I tried turning it off. That was the light switch for the entire second floor. So many people saw, I turned it back on and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320 You deserved it 941

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Anonymous · 7 November 2022, 16:00

Snot machine

Today, I had to supervise my 9 year-old nephew taking a shower, because he won't wash with soap or shampoo unless someone makes him. Instead, he blows three-inch-long green and brown boogers out of his nose that dangle from his nostril. He's disgusting and hasn't even hit puberty yet. This is future of the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885 You deserved it 178

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Anonymous · 13 November 2022, 16:00

Assumptions

Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087 You deserved it 133

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Anonymous · 22 May 2020, 20:00

Tasty

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 820 You deserved it 304

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Sorry kitty · 23 November 2022, 16:00

Sorry little buddy

Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913 You deserved it 228

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Anonymous · 6 September 2021, 05:01

The Voice

Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903 You deserved it 297

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Anonymous · 9 September 2021, 02:00

She definitely heard

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269 You deserved it 1 484

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Jessica · 21 October 2025, 00:00

Square one

Today, after spending last year putting in hard work, which paid off and I got my dream job, due to my own mismanagement of stress my dream job is gone and life is back at square one. Now everyone's predictions of me being a waste of space are true and I have to reinvent my life. Starting over at 38 after already starting over at 36. I can't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372 You deserved it 153

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Anonymous · 15 April 2024, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Parental love

Today, my toxic daughter learned that yelling at a biker chick won’t just get her an argument, it will get her several broken bones and a concussion. The FML is that I now have to take care of her with her broken leg for six weeks. I hate her; she’s such a bitch to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467 You deserved it 351

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Anonymous · 18 April 2024, 12:00

The truth will out

Today, my uncle got drunk and started ranting about how great I was and how amazing it is that I almost wasn’t born because somehow I managed to survive the failed abortion my mom really wanted. News to me. Mom never wanted me and tried to abort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 91

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Anonymous · 27 October 2025, 09:00

You made your bed…

Today, I asked my employee, who I desperately need, who I forced into a position she explicitly stated she didn't want, if she could stop cursing out the field employees. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 You deserved it 945

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toomuch2process · 6 December 2022, 14:00 ·United States

Truth bomb

Today, I found out the truth about my and my siblings adoptions and why I have no contact with any extended family. Turns out our parents are half-siblings, who decided to adopt rather than risk any genetic anomalies. Their families didn’t approve of the relationship so they moved us far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049 You deserved it 111

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ummm eww · 12 June 2020, 20:05 🌶️ Spicy

Disclosure

Today, my friend and I decided to have a "special intimate" moment together at his house. As soon as I start to really get into it, he said to me, "I sort of wanna do your mom." Way to kill the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045 You deserved it 289

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Anonymous · 23 April 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Sing it again

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445 You deserved it 88

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R Kelly's scapegoat · 11 December 2022, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Hang in there

Today, I was haunted by the knowledge that my father watched me slit my wrists without doing a damn thing or batting an eyelid, but when I took the steak knife to the breadboard to release my tension, he was so upset, he took the dog, drove to the east coast, and spent the night in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760 You deserved it 734

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This is gonna suck · 30 December 2022, 12:00 ·United States

Damn kids

Today, and for the past three months, I've been stuck in a group project with three students who spend 90% of their time talking to each other. This project is mandatory to graduate, and a team effort is practically required in order to do well. I can already feel senioritis kicking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852 You deserved it 141

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My headphones were busted · 8 May 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Yapping and chirping

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435 You deserved it 98

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Anonymous · 31 December 2022, 18:00

Casual patriarchy

Today, my husband more or less said to our daughter, "I just met an old friend, he has a son you should marry because my old friend is really rich.” It’s been an hour and he’s cowering in his chair because our daughter is still yelling at him, and it serves him right, but now I have a headache from the noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034 You deserved it 268

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Anonymous · 24 November 2025, 00:00

How the turntables…

Today, I learned that the girl who severely bullied me in highschool for being a lesbian just came out as a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 84

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sadie · 15 May 2024, 12:00 ·Las Vegas, United States

Rock n roll

Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 99

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Brain Bleach? Anyone? · 22 May 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Don't come again!

Today, as an adult, I finally got to meet my great-grandfather. I had no idea he was still alive, since my parents and even my grandpa never told me. When we met, I found out why my family like to pretend he doesn't exist: This senile 93-year-old is by far the most racist person I've ever encountered in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532 You deserved it 169

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Anonymous · 20 July 2020, 08:01

The price is wrong

Today, I have to pay a $20 customs fee on the replacement charging cord for my tablet pen, bringing the total up to $60 I’ve paid for this $4 cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306 You deserved it 313

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someone who is depressed · 19 January 2023, 12:00 ·United States

Savings

Today, I've found that the water bill has been much lower than usual as of late. I then realized that this is because I'm so depressed and hardly get out at all, that I've stopped showering or even taking care of myself in general. Who do I have to impress, anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 799 You deserved it 237

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Anonymous · 31 May 2024, 22:00

Classy

Today, my date turned up with her baby. Funny she never mentioned she was a single mom. She went to the bathroom and left the baby with me. Can you see where this is going? Yep, security footage showed that she walked out without looking back. I had to give the baby to the police. Shame on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856 You deserved it 111

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