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Nope

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 16:00

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 165

Gambit

By Chess'nt - 03/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, after a couple days of taking lessons after I decided to learn to play Chess as a hobby, I felt a bit better about my skill level than I was before. Then I got absolutely humbled by five different people. One of them actually said to me, "What Glass Joe is to Punch-Out, you are to chess." It's hard to not be discouraged after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 135

Pompous twat

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 02:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, this guy who I thought was my friend said that my "existence is of minimal consequence," and that I'm "an individual I clearly don't acknowledge." All this after he'd said, "I'm not trying to hurt you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 96

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 474

What my mornings look like now that I have children

By Lewis - 05/12/2018 18:00 - France - Paris

Parenthood is no joke.

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 111

Bad diet

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 17:01 - United States - Verona

Today, my roommate stunk up the entire floor again with his rancid bathroom trips from spicy foods so much that I ended up wearing a t-shirt over my nose just to play video games in my own room. He gets offended when I tell him to open the bathroom window to vent it out. If only I owned my own home… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 142

Purple haze?

By Anonymous - 09/09/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was belting out the lyrics to a song I’ve loved for years, when my friend stopped me and asked why I was singing “kiss this guy.” Confused, I looked up the lyrics and realized I’ve been singing "kiss the sky" wrong for a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 410

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 24/02/2022 02:01

Today, I found out that a girl I had been seeing for two months used her having a brain tumor as an excuse to break up with me. She said she wouldn’t feel good for three months because of treatment, but then a month into "treatment", she posted a picture on a date with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 147

This charming man

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 105

You have been warned

By stay away from my balls! - 16/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 135

By Wasthistheplace - 29/06/2019 18:12 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to meet my dad, who I haven't seen in years, at a convenience store. He didn't show up, because the location was "inconvenient." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 159

Elaborate prank

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 22:00

Today, my dear wife, an expert seamstress, took apart one shoulder of my favourite vest, looping the whole shirt through itself like a figure of eight, then stitched it back up. It took me over a full minute to realise why I suddenly couldn’t fold it flat, and she recorded me failing at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 147

Life hack

By Anonymous - 29/04/2023 15:00

Today, I discovered that when they remove your cancerous prostate, your penis will shrink by the exact length of the removed prostate back up into your body. So not only do I now need pills to get a boner, my boner has shrunk from a respectable 5 inches to just under 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 167

Be a better parent

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my boyfriend’s bitch of an ex about why she won’t let him see their kids. She laughed hysterically then showed me screenshots of all the times she offered to drop them off and the excuses he made. An hour later, she dropped three kids at our door and stopped answering her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 777

So infuriating

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law had the nerve to hijack my baby shower to announce her pregnancy. It's all the more infuriating because we later found out that she's NOT pregnant, just a fucking attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 97

Masterchef

By Uh-SLEEP - 11/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 82

Letting go

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 15:00

Today, after 5 years of marriage, my once-gym-mad husband is now so unfit that even standard missionary sex makes him so breathless and light headed, he has to stop in case he passes out. He hasn’t given me an orgasm in over a year and yet he insists nothing's wrong with him, and that I’m just being mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 308

By Dying Whale - 02/03/2017 04:00

Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 707

You deserved it 748

Just shut up already!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister went from choosing not to have kids because they just aren’t for her to being obnoxiously childfree. We can’t have a single conversation without her ranting about how much she hates children, and parents are pathetic losers. I have three kids and don’t want her around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 92

Make it stop

By MigrainesSuck - 26/05/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, it's the third day of me having a migraine. I just want to kill myself. I've tried tablets, no screen for 20 hours, sleep, hydration, food and everything. If it were not for my loving husband and caring kids, I wouldn't hesitate to kill myself. This is a monthly routine now, one week out of order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 56

Influencers

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 08:01

Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 139

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 22:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after dating someone for a year and a half, upon meeting his mother for the first time he'd told me she has bad anxiety and that he’s going to introduce me as his friend, and the only reason I was meeting her was because she was selling her deceased husband's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 112

In this economy?!

By No fair - 17/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I desperately want a kid with my wife, but unfortunately I'm stuck on the hook for child support. The kid was a mistake, a pregnancy from a relationship that lasted less than two months, and unless I can get my payments reduced there's no way my wife and I can afford a kid of our own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 678

Hello?

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 11:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 115

What are you complaining about exactly?

By Rob - 26/04/2022 12:00

Today, almost every girl in my contacts thinks I’m sexually unattractive, and one even said I’m "too nice.” The one girl that is sexually attracted to me only wants me for sex, and wants nothing else to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 336

She's not wrong

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00

Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 2 195

What did I do?

By Ryan McArdle - 25/01/2021 10:58

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 145

Moist

By HonestlyVirgoHonesty - 01/05/2022 14:00

Today, I went to go soak my dentures because I fell asleep wearing them last night, only to find that my boyfriend threw away the container they were in, thinking it was trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 113

By littl3storm - 13/05/2019 04:00

Today, I got up and walked to college for my only class which started at 9 a.m. after a night of restless sleep. Our exam is two weeks away, so I thought it would be better to attend. Apparently, my teacher thought differently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 220

Work husbands and work wives

By Sleeping at my parents tonight - 28/06/2023 15:00

Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 136

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The Top

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 188

You deserved it 4 752

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 853

You deserved it 7 119

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 671

You deserved it 3 845

Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a dinner along with my own. Mine took a little longer to cook, so they ate before me and went back to her bedroom. I ate alone to the sound of them having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 763

You deserved it 4 687

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 3 850

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 5 121