You tried…
Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML
Top comments
TheCrispyCat 20
Most cases you can't.
mt631 18
She needs to get over herself. You're not a pig for clogging the toilet. Everyone does that sometimes.
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Comments (131)
TheCrispyCat 20
Most cases you can't.
cakefete2 31
Yea, i agree. Reminds me of a joke. A wise man once said, "yes dear, you're right". And he lived happily ever after.
zBLAKEz 23
It reminds me of Red Dead Redemption. "I just know that there are two theories when arguing with women. And neither one works."
CobraLazerFace 21
You guys are lucky enough to talk to women... QQ
TheCrispyCat 20
Me? Talk to women? Hah!
SammyS2012 21
If a man speaks in a forest and no one is around to hear him, is he still wrong?
popprock 13
Men rarely win xD sorry guys, we women tend to be very stubborn...
Aspen_Grace33 27
Sounds like she needs to take a chill pill!!! Next time you should leave the clog for her to deal with!!!
mageepaigeee44 15
Unclogging someone's toilet when you clog it isn't being a gentleman it's just being a decent human. I agree she should chill but he kinda sounds like a douche.
GoingCommando93 14
Yeah what a douche for needing to take a shit that happened to be big enough to clog a toilet. Btw I'm being sarcastic.
mageepaigeee44 15
No the ******** and clogging is understandable. I just thought the way the FML was worded sounded kinda douchey. He still didnt deserve her reaction.
zBLAKEz 23
I think the way he worded it was meant as sort of a joke.
rshred 8
You're a dumb bitch.
EdenCrystal 21
That was super uncalled for, 53.
incoherentrmblr 22
I agree with MageePaigeee. It's human nature, despite how bad it is. At least he fixed the problem. Hopefully she calmed down. As for the situation, F**k her bathroom...
TisAPenguin 16
There was absolutely nothing "douchey" about this FML. I'm sick of hearing about females who get mad at their men for masturbating or possibly masturbating. There's nothing wrong with it, and we do it too! And she's a liar if she says her shit has never smelled foul. You deserve a much better gf, OP.
StillUsesMyspace 22
I bet you're single 45.
mageepaigeee44 15
No I have a boyfriend and I don't care who ***** or masterbates. I just don't think you're a gentleman if you unclog a toilet that you clogged.
WarriorBl00d 9
Then why don't you get you're boyfriend to leave a nice shit in you're toilet and for when you want to go, you don't have to go plunging before you can, it is very nice to do that.
doctorhook86 25
#94: So your whole point is that you're not impressed by someone cleaning up after themselves? And it took you three comments to say this? I think you should take a good look at yourself before you go calling the OP a douchebag.
mt631 18
She needs to get over herself. You're not a pig for clogging the toilet. Everyone does that sometimes.
PraparAnis 19
You can. Dump her.
Sandsh8rk 36
hehe, "dump" her...
kittyfrozen 19
i am imagining that it is patrick saying this, especially so with the hehe
Sandman366 6
Then he's gotta plunge the toilet again...
ihavenolifehaha 16
You win some you lose some
yeahthatsmeee 10
Unless you're a guy then you win none, and lose all
minesbiggerr 25
You never win against a woman
rdenkewicz 11
Unless your a guy, in which case you always lose to your gf.
fuckyourlifeOP 25
It's all the same to me. -motorhead
brettrb 18
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say!
famvd 15
A pig? As if she doesn't take toilet-clogging ***** herself...
AnOriginalName 19
No she doesn't. Girls don't poop. It's scientific fact.
Madster15 14
girls sparkle. never poop.
garebear61 14
It is the truth. My girlfriend moved in over a week ago and to the best of my knowledge she has not pooped once! Just sparkled a time or two!
Ololo_fml 16
girls piss with rainbows, shit with sparkles, and their fart smells like flowers. you should now that
blazesaltzman 4
Actually I'm a girl and my farts smell like death.
pratikp03 22
Unrelated but... did I maı̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨k you wipe your screen?
AJlatour 9
better to be in that shitty situation than a sticky situation. yes all puns are meant so get over yourself.
Mauskau 36
Read OP's name.
LexiDaBae 17
Ha! I didn't even notice that.
AJlatour 9
does it look like I care what anyone's name is on this app. I don't know any of you nor do I care to know any of you. welcome to life no one gives a shit about your name on an app, by the way I'm a total moron.
davincidasecond 24
54, you might as well just quit while you're ahead.
brand125 17
because the name relates to the fml on purpose and relates to you right now
dont_doubt_me 29
54 - Do you have to be such a ******* douche?
AlaskanG 27
Well somebody got here already angry.
AJlatour 9
I'm definitely not angry and no one on this site could make me angry. my life is great and FML is just an app I go on to so I can laugh at others mistakes. if you can't laugh at others or yourself then you have failed in life.
Miss_Whipped 43
Clearly we've got the 'laughing at others' part down. Now it's time for you to laugh at yourself. And it's okay #89, the burden of denial is something we all possess from time to time.
AlaskanG 27
You sound like you've got a pretty big chip on your shoulder coming in here expecting an argument.
doctorhook86 25
#54: As I read your comment, I was preparing to rip into you for being an asshat. Ended up laughing out loud and upvoting you for calling yourself a total moron. Take what ye will from all of that.
AJlatour 9
this guy ^^ must be and internet tough guy. you are going to rip me a new one. please don't make me laugh. if my drill instructor in the service couldn't what makes you think you can. :-P Life is great and the more you hate my comments and try to fight or make me feel bad about what I say the better you make my day. if my comments cause you that much pain and misery my daily mission is complete and I will sleep great tonight no matter what you say or do. hahahahaha
AlaskanG 27
Lmao. Calling other people internet tough guys.
AJlatour 9
yea that's right I did. way to point out the obvious. man they really pick the smart ones to be in the chair force.
doctorhook86 25
#125: Bro, I said I upvoted you for laughing at yourself. I guess reading comprehension isn't an important skill in "the service".
AJlatour 9
I know what you said and I was responding the way I did for the simple fact that I didn't add the last part calling myself a moron. in my line of work reading comprehension is a big part of it. why would I call myself a moron in the first place. if you actually read my comments you would realize that I wouldn't do that. I see a lack of common sense in your life.
AlaskanG 27
You can clearly see that you did call yourself a moron. Are you always this way? Just going around looking for a fight?
krundale 6
Because a gentleman drops a huge deuce in his girlfriend bathroom.
limabeans101029 21
When you gotta go, you gotta go
Mauskau 36
I used to need to go at my ex's house more than I did at mine. Always was worse as it was the only bathroom and I have 3..
Axipiter 24
You're right, 9. I, being the perfect gentleman, usually just pull down my pants at the dinner table and let 'er rip right there.
doctorhook86 25
#9: Where the ****, dare I even ask, should he take a shit then, #9? Personally, I like to avoid leaving a huge shit in others' toilets by breaking it up into smaller pieces and scattering them throughout the house. Is that preferable to you?
EverestMelting 23
Congrats on the nice shit first of all. That's something to be proud of. Just for a tip, make sure you try and do that before you're with your girlfriend.