Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
Tpracingkg 15
Darwinism
theherd 4
Bye children!
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Comments (155)
Durotic 8
Go home dumbass, your drunk.
softrally 15
You're*
Lillalein 11
Well, at least you were not drunk enough to share that embarrassing story on the inter...oh wait!
bowhunter4life 2
LMAO!!
natsaysheyyy 16
Even drunk, I don't see how you could POSSIBLY think that was a good idea.
keepcalmandbacon 16
Nothing good ever comes of "I got so drunk that..."
tararochelle 18
Even though I am a girl, from all the stories I've heard about the sensitivity of that area... I don't think anyone I know would be that dumb.. Even wasted. That's just an area you protect !!
Tatabunny12 9
This is a prime example of how each generations intelligence is flushed down the toilet. The idiots before them forgot to wipe.
lowshadows 21
think of it as thinning out the gene pool.
jiraii 9
I really hope you can't procreate anymore
Iceman226 17
Alcohol, because no good stories have ever started with "I ate a salad then..."
Ziggy122 15
Unless you use vodka as salad dressing...