Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
Tpracingkg 15
Darwinism
theherd 4
Bye children!
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Comments (155)
Stefanie88 24
Are we suppose to feel sorry for you?
limitedition 25
You are ready for the "jackass" crew.
Azula272 14
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Czech_Zidane 14
And what do you expect from us? "Poor OP"? No good, at least you are not going to hear anything like that from me.
ni0ve 9
fml that it happened or fml that u can't remember?
vbmg152 19
Any FML that includes the words " I was so drunk" is an automatic YDI from me!
redblueflame 23
Where did you get a taser from whilst drunk?! Also, of all the places to pick, why the hell did you think it'd be funny to take a taser too your OWN balls?! Even if your drunk that is still completely ridiculous.
Inciter 33
How do you get so drunk that you taze yourself?
advent2060 4
Why the **** would any one vote that ur life sucks its your own fault, YDI with out a doubt
taylor714 7
how drunk do you have to be to do that