Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was logging into my work computer. My account became locked due to the many failed attempts at typing my password. Thinking I was alone, I said, “Fuck this shit” while dragging the keyboard off my desk. Turns out my supervisor was in the other room. I'd forgotten I'd changed my password the other day. FML
Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML
Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML
Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML
Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML
Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML
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Top comments
sarabraun8 7
haha deserved
hashmita 0
Seriously, stop stalking him.
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Comments (65)
allmidnighteyes 11
Did you have a picture of him as your background? Was your password his name? Did you have pictures of him in the shower to fuel your 'bation station?
machiko_fml 0
Haha. I would have done the same.
heyjenn 0
Haven't you read all the things that say never give your password to anyone?
amyrules99 7
Ikr! She could have just typed it in instead of telling him!
fuqkk_off 0
ha
aback 5
TAKE A HINT.
zenti 2
Never give your password to anyone. Come on now, this is common sense. It doesn't matter what the guy looks like, if he wanted to use your computer you should have logged him in yourself. I doubt you had to use the bathroom so badly that you couldn't type the password for him.
Nadinek98 0
I'm srry ... he's just not that into u .. rejected.
iheartglasses 0
Now you know to make your staring habit a lot less noticeable :) Im sure youre not stalking him and hes probably being a little dramatic, but learn to lighten up when you have a crush. Dont smother them lol
perdix 31
1. Tell him you'll stop stalking him. 2. Get him to put your password back. 3. Change it to a new password you will never share. 4. ???? 5. Profit. 6. Start stalking him again. You'll never get him unless you really put in the effort. The prey say they don't like being stalked, but they are lying. Keep after him and eventually you will have him! ;) Good luck.
iluvme4never 0
I would really laugh if she took your advice.
Lolzords 11
Fake. You need to put the old password in to change it.
allmidnighteyes 11
You are denser than a brick of Osmium.