Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML
Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML
Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML
Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML
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Top comments
andybme 0
Sucks for you >.< Get her number, (insurance number) >:D
Crysta_fml 3
Today, I pulled up to the petrol station, and this creepy git kept staring at me, I was starting to get scared, so I turned my back on him, relived he was pulling away. He must have been to busy staring at my ass, because he took the front bumper off my car. FML
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Comments (72)
jesssyyy2043 0
haha :) LOL #6
dzerzhinsky 0
YDI for calling petrol 'gas'
FerrariCake 2
You're just mad because England can't refer to America as "the colonies" any more. It's been over 200 years... you have to learn to let go.
rogue_211 0
Agreed, I am from Britain and have learned to let go :)
Crysta_fml 3
Today, I pulled up to the petrol station, and this creepy git kept staring at me, I was starting to get scared, so I turned my back on him, relived he was pulling away. He must have been to busy staring at my ass, because he took the front bumper off my car. FML
dzerzhinsky 0
nearly, but it's 'arse', not 'ass'. thx.
Phobic_fml 14
no. it's not.
Franorox 8
it is for everyone not living in America
Franorox 8
it is unless ur an idiot or an American
Link5794 18
If you use the words "petrol" and "git", then you use the word "arse", at least to the extent of my understanding.
marycharles 0
nicely done
Acid80 3
A Fail-Win-Situation
atomicmrpelly 2
Erm, she pulled up next to you, then you managed to drive into the back of her car?? You must be monumentally stupid.
Franorox 8
u just made a fool of urself coz he went into her FRONT bumper
Redjourney88 0
lol well u def have the chance 2 get 2 know her now! hopefully, it'll mostly be outside of court if you play your cards right ;)
Boo25 0
at least u got her number
baker3410 0
at least it was a good reason to (:
bk_chick13 0
yeah so now your gonna have to pay for that and I doubt she is gonna go out with a guy who absentmindly hit her car
Mama4ddk 15
I don't know she may go out with him, but she is never going to let him park near her again and she will definitely never ever let him drive her vehicle!