Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML
Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML
Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML
Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML
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Top comments
andybme 0
Sucks for you >.< Get her number, (insurance number) >:D
Crysta_fml 3
Today, I pulled up to the petrol station, and this creepy git kept staring at me, I was starting to get scared, so I turned my back on him, relived he was pulling away. He must have been to busy staring at my ass, because he took the front bumper off my car. FML
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Comments (72)
BeeSkwaird 0
You're telling us to pull kids over? That's random. (Commas are your friends.)
FerrariCake 2
You live in New Hampshire, and a "hottie" pulled up next to you?? Was she visiting from out of state?
SubjectX 0
you are why women think we operate entirely from our balls. I hope you learn how to segregate one impulse from another.
GeneralDisarray6 0
dumbass
APdrum 0
good conversation starter
ecuakelly 0
lmaoo wow this is funny
XxCoolPersonxX 0
hey, well at least you've got a topic to your first conversation :)
pokerfaceeex 0
aww you poor thingg :)
6969awesome 0
that's wat I was thinking #1 the u ask her out as an apology ;)
harrypotterfan12 0
oh, thats nice. i agree with #47. but, dude, thanks for informing me of that. :)