Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said, "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. Six, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML
Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML
Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
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Top comments
Amanda_Ruth 0
Oh, dear Jesus. That's disgusting! You poor thing...
drybamboo 0
Um, ew. Someone remind me not to go on this site when I'm eating.
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Comments (173)
Greg101 0
How the hell did you position yourself so that some of it could fall on your lip? I think you need to rethink your positioning when scrubbing someones foot.
kandy_fml 0
I don't think the sender meant to say 'lip' I imagined it as 'lap' It would make more sense. I dunno, though.
lilyenid 0
lap sound better!
bunnygirl 2
#12 -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! Even funnier than the FML itself (which is actually more gross than funny)
lynx_fml 0
I think they meant lap, not lip.
hk_fml 9
ohh god. It is still fricken nasty as hell if it did fall into her lap.
Mnemic 6
I was wondering the same thing as #12. Was gravity acting like a b*tch maybe? :-P
thefauxjew 0
if she was scrubbing really hard, a chunk of it could have flown off the foot and onto her lip.
fmlfuch 0
get a different job maybe?
ChairmanMao 0
#19, lulz.
allieg 0
What does the woman's weight have to do with anything in this story?