Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML
Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML
Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
"Ok, then boyfriend."
ojoRojo 27
Innocent mistake. Unless he told you he was gay before, he can’t assume that you knew.
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Comments (6)
Aiden89 23
How dare you assume their orientation. (Jk)
RichardPencil 32
"Ok, then boyfriend."
jkjorn 18
And then the co-worker responds: "So, are you available?"
rotflqtms_ 21
Sorry, I'm not, but maybe Jack is?
JasonThorn 23
I'd reply with, "I'm straight...just not narrow."
ojoRojo 27
Innocent mistake. Unless he told you he was gay before, he can’t assume that you knew.
faifai_fml 21
Idiot. "I'm lonely, I wish I had a significant other." "You should go find a significant other." "...Are you even listening to me or did a bird poop in your brain pan?"
ashbashlove 2
I’m failing to see a problem? He was telling you his preferences? Grow up