Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
Allie614032 34
Oh come on, it's just a fart. It will go away.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't know if this is thinly-veiled homophobia, or if you're just a huge pansy.
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Comments (33)
FishyFishy 12
Mamma Mia, I bet that fart stank!
acmariner99 25
That stinks
RichardPencil 32
You had to sit through them contriving a weak plot to serve a bunch of ABBA album fillers songs? The fart probably smelled like roses in comparison.
kirby1964 20
How do you save a fart, is there a bank for these thing?
Davros 12
You think she's farting now, wait until you finish.
bobsanction 18
You need to marry that woman, because that is friggen hilarious.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Doesn't matter, had sex. Or did you...?
fluffy_gummybear 13
Maybe she was nervous because she knew that it was gonna be painful.
Rabite 28
If it's painful you are doing it wrong and really shouldn't be doing it at all.
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
First, you saw a chick flick without your wife dragging you kicking and screaming. Your man-card is revoked just for that. Second you deserved it.
fde2blknimout 18
Have you ever heard of a donkey punch? Should have done that.