Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML
Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
When you go "down there," please, please, please don't mention waffles!
Weibu11 5
Now that's what I call a sticky situation....
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Comments (24)
JINXnocturnal 18
Why maple syrup? Did you run out of dessert toppings?
Glowworm56 27
I hope you didn't then refer to her nipples as strawberries!
jbuckets_404 39
OP, don't be surprised if next time your wife states that she's not interested in any "breakfast sausage links...."
CRC_101 31
She just doesn't appreciate a perfect pun.
ThrottleJockey 36
That's why I usually go with biscuits and gravy, as in she's got the biscuits and I've got the gravy.
bigtwobah 6
"Yeah you take this sausage you hungry girl, you got a big day ahead of you"
Dexter83aus 7
OP whilst I feel bad for you. This is the funniest thing I've read on here. Just don't ask for two stacks
Dylan Bower 9
Why?
ArbiterOfFML 24
the fyl and ydi are exactly the same, for that reason I pressed both.
jetli1234 6
I read it as male syrup ??