Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML
Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML
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Top comments
fifi125 21
That's one mile more running than if you hadn't gone! Think positive!
strugglingatlife 14
Hey at least you ran a mile! Never give up!
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Comments (44)
ShadowGenius 12
Running is cardio, core is abdominals and obliques mostly. Ease yourself into working out, you can really hurt yourself if done wrong
thenewgirl29 20
Op was joking about the core exercise because of the stomach issues afterwards, but thanks Captain Obvious. Lol
netflixislove 32
Haha well normally people go to the bathroom before they run…
xChaos 29
I think you might've misunderstood why OP went to the bathroom...
aubamas 20
at least you're in shape after that. how much pounds did you lose?
Purexinsanity 46
It's always hard at the beginning. Don't push yourself too hard, OP and don't get discouraged by this. Unless it was related to some medical condition, the second part of your "routine" won't happen every time.
Juicenub 25
At least you have alot of room for improvement.
random_cashmere 25
OP, only use a treadmill if you want to hate running.
heyLaddieHey 18
Some people are not natural runners (like me). After you recover, take it easier next time, and don't get discouraged!
AndrewMoreira14 19
Just wait till you reach that runners high ;)
iwanttogotoparis 26
I find if you take short breaks in between exercising it keeps you more energised
hoosiergirl94 31
That's how I picture it going every time. So I just don't go workout