Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML
Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fifi125 21
That's one mile more running than if you hadn't gone! Think positive!
strugglingatlife 14
Hey at least you ran a mile! Never give up!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (44)
jtfrisch 22
That's the secret about running, it almost always make you have to poop immediately
platypus546 24
I think you're doing it wrong...
emenesso 13
That's normal, it just means you kept your heart rate too high for too long or that you didn't let your last meal digest properly before you started. The main thing that concerns me is puking for 15 minutes and then the 10 minutes of pain afterwards - I don't think that's normal. I've been sick after doing cardio before and it was just elevated heart rate (from http://www.livestrong.com/article/370299-high-heart-rate-nausea-during-exercise/ - "it can be dangerous to let your heart rate go above 85 percent of your maximum heart rate. This upper limit translates to 162 beats per minute for a 30-year-old, 153 beats per minute for a 40-year-old and 145 beats per minute for a 50-year-old") - it's just your body telling you to slow the f**k down, but all I did was puke once (mostly water, yay) and I felt heaps better. There was no pain...
emenesso 13
Oh and I'm assuming you were puking on the toilet, not crapping... But I could be wrong lol
QMAN4000 10
Keep at it. The hardest part is the beginning
captainsmegma 12
Maybe tomorrow you can get to 30 minutes on the shutter. Get some reading material.
blackonblight 33
Man, what did you eat? For that 'core' workout you could have skipped the treadmill and hit the Taco Bell with the same result. But seriously. Start slow. Start so slow you think it isn't doing anything. Only move up in intensity until you feel the start of resistance. Then maintain that level until it there is no longer resistance. Slow progress is much more reliable. Or at least that's what I can parrot from the physical therapist who worked with me for my bum knees years ago.
simperino 11
You probably lose a pound or two poop + 1 mile run!
xn3x 10
Watch your heart rate, don't work out right after a meal, cut on the fat intake.
laden_swallow09 35
Now to go back and do it again every other day! Don't worry, you will get better at it. Promise! Just be sure your form is correct!
miss_amphetamine 24
The hardest part is making that initial effort. The fact that you worked out until you couldn't anymore shows that you pushed yourself. You ran a mile farther than you would have if you haven't gone to the gym. You're doing great! Keep at it, and don't give up :)