Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, my boss sent a message to a coworker saying, "We're putting all of you back on the phones because one of you can't stop watching Netflix so corporate thinks you guys don't do anything." That person was me. Everyone's pissed at me now. FML
Today, as I have lately, I’ve been feeling like my boss finds any excuse to be upset with me and tell me how I’m doing wrong, when most times it’s just so stupid there’s really no point in it. For reference, I work in long term care. I messaged her and she got upset with me because she saw my name pop up and overreacted. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML
Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML
Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML
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Top comments
strokesie 23
If people knew how to language we wouldn't have this problem
pjsr 33
You could've helped it, but didn't. Now you know better than to correct the boss on non-essential matters. Use this knowledge at your next job.
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Comments (101)
foxwasalamb 24
this bothers me. when people who have authority over you over exert that authority to the point where its not even justifiable anymore. teachers do this all the time, just like in the workplace.
ArmyDoc 11
Her issue was with the incorrect language and with the boss wasting "her" time. . Which is the boss's absolute privilege. She deserved it. Stop ranting about things that don't apply and go study.
ArmyDoc 11
This is an fml why? Because you have extremely poor common sense? Your boss gets to distract you. It's their privilege. Welcome to life.
byefelicia1992 8
Really, OP? It's not that serious.
buckdharma 38
Was this a literal shitlist?
mom_of_5 10
In all technicality, aren't we all "literally dying" from the moment we are born? Unless there's been a new development to cure death, making us immortal, we all are literally dying. That being said, think before you speak if the person you're correcting has power over your paycheck. YDI!
conman531 23
I'm tired of people who keep attaching "literally" to everything! Literally dying, literally dead, literally pissed, literally annoyed. I want to little literally smash a literal chair over their literal face so they can literally get some literal sense knocked in to their heads.
Nymeria_fml 25
Not sure that they would literally get some literal sense knocked into their heads... more like they would literally get some literal chair knocked against their heads.
davincidasecond 24
OP, this is your boss you're talking to. You really think she wouldn't put you on her shitlist especially when you talk down to her like that, regardless of the reason? I'm not saying what she did was really justified, but I honestly don't see why you find her reaction surprising ... You kinda deserved it.
Boeneman 3
you know i know two language good english and bad english
ISlangWang 7
Why do you have to be such a pessimistic joy kill? When I say "I'm starved, I can go for a bite", I'm pretty sure I'm not actually famished and malnourished. It's a figure of speech. You deserve that shit list spot
graphicstyle7 17
You are blunt and can be trusted. Having said that, you are also tactless, somewhat humorless, and clueless as to how to properly kiss up to a boss.