Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I was in the changing room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
Why were you watching his penis wobble then? Look at his face.
that1guy1 13
Nothing wrong with a healthy conversation regardless of clothing.
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Comments (122)
cptmorgan6 8
Then you should be used to it. Also, why is it that you waited until this time to post it here?
mritty 2
Oh please. If you don't want to see a naked man, don't walk into a men's locker room. Period. There is nothing strange or abnormal about a guy being naked in a locker room.
ILoveTabz 0
Why were you staring at his junk to begin with?
Wheredidgrungego 12
Hangin' loose? Yup.
ScarletBloom 14
Yours don't wobble?
walrusman 0
You sir are a genius!
Llama_Face89 34
I feel your pain, man... This happened to me ALL the time when I was lifeguarding at the YMCA. The worst part is you become used to it...and it actually ceases to phase you... >_
Brandonbhp 6
His eyes are up there ^
Cheylea 10
Awesome job, they hiring?
perdix 31
What happens all the time? Conversations about pool chemicals making penises wobble? And why are you watching his penis anyways? When I have to talk to a naked man, I focus over the top of his skull, so the lower boundary of my peripheral vision barely contains his face. Looking any lower is, well, you know ...
ikickgingers 15
A turn on? ;/
kit001 0
You work at pool too?
perdix 31
Kicky, Looking at naked old men is a turn-on for you? I'm liking you more every day :D
stfu_bam 5
I would have walked away the minute he started talking to me and if he complained, state that you refuse to talk to someone without clothes.