Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I was in the changing room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
Why were you watching his penis wobble then? Look at his face.
that1guy1 13
Nothing wrong with a healthy conversation regardless of clothing.
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Comments (122)
LilyZombie 8
You didn't necessarily HAVE to notice his little weiner dance. Conversational eye contact would actually prevent you from being able to do so. unless youre a midget. XD
DomoLaDii 8
dnt look easy as that....
DairyQueen13 0
Go to college and get a better job?
thecovert 7
Sounds like you like it since you don't take a different route to avoid such conversations.
22cute 17
One day you will be old....and limp.
margie4peace 11
Why were you looking at his penis?
amberskyz 4
Okay lets be honest, its kinda hard NOT to notice someones wang doing the 'I have a mind of my own dance' & as a fellow risk taker and one who detests NOT taking the short cut the least u can do is pretend to be deaf and NOT STOP NO MATTER WHAT until your safely thru the change room. Old men are such perv's, you know he totally enjoyed that right?
SHORTstopp99 5
omg op is a guy, that is wrong
z3vil 11
It'd be better if OP was a girl???
MyF_ckingLuck 0
stop walking through the changing room if you know you're always seeing nude people.. pervert!
kit001 0
It obviously couldn't have been too offense to you since you stood there having a ten minute conversation and watching his junk.