Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML
Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML
Today, I'm on spring break on a tropical island, visiting family I hadn't seen in years. They invited me out to eat, and won't take no for an answer. All of this would be wonderful, if it weren't for the fact that I've been vomiting to the point of expelling bile and dry heaving for the last two days. FML
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, and for the past week, I’ve had a viral bug. Now I can handle the vomiting, the diarrhoea, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, fatigue, and coughing. What I cannot handle is how food and drink now taste bad. Like seriously, even water tastes bad. I’m slowly going insane from lack of flavour. FML
Today, after years of being unable to work because of chronic illness, I finished my second week of a new job. I'm so utterly and completely wiped out, I don't know if I can continue. FML
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Top comments
staymintyfresh 13
Well I think you should eat food rather then starve to death, maybe your body will adjust eventually.
emba_fml 13
holy ****, more people recognize that as Kelly Clarkson lyrics than a Nietzsche quote now? kind of sad $:
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Comments (149)
thagar 2
We went to africa last summer. Are you sure you are taking your medicine? That was usually the problem when we got sick over there. If you are, good luck though hopefully you'll find the problem.
mal2012 4
Yall comments are dumber than anything.smh! So, dear person... U need to come home for a little while or email ur doctor here in america. Whoever is tellin u to EAT til ur body is adjusted clearly doesnt understand that the body REJECTS whatever isnt good for it. And dont starve either. Either way ir body is beinf harmed. Equally. So email ur dr, see a dr, pay for something to be sent to u or something! Take care of urself. Lord some of yall other commenters dont THINK at all.
hateevryone 15
You should eat then rather than pass out.
sandinthewaves 5
It gets better
adele20 2
Hey I'm from south africa. Why don't u just try making your own food? Wash your vegetables. :) people up in north/central africa don't practise good hygeine. Africa isn't that bad and people here are soooo friendly compared to other places.
adele20 2
Hey I'm from south africa. Why don't u just try making your own food? Wash your vegetables. :) people up in north/central africa don't practise good hygeine. Africa isn't that bad and people here are soooo friendly compared to other places.
bagelpie 6
Or you could move?
gousafutbol 0
Well at least you have some food down there. Many have little, or no, food at all.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Take MRE's with you. You'd never poop again!
Timberwolf247 0
Be careful what you wish for.