Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML
Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML
Today, I'm on spring break on a tropical island, visiting family I hadn't seen in years. They invited me out to eat, and won't take no for an answer. All of this would be wonderful, if it weren't for the fact that I've been vomiting to the point of expelling bile and dry heaving for the last two days. FML
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, and for the past week, I’ve had a viral bug. Now I can handle the vomiting, the diarrhoea, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, fatigue, and coughing. What I cannot handle is how food and drink now taste bad. Like seriously, even water tastes bad. I’m slowly going insane from lack of flavour. FML
Today, after years of being unable to work because of chronic illness, I finished my second week of a new job. I'm so utterly and completely wiped out, I don't know if I can continue. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
staymintyfresh 13
Well I think you should eat food rather then starve to death, maybe your body will adjust eventually.
emba_fml 13
holy ****, more people recognize that as Kelly Clarkson lyrics than a Nietzsche quote now? kind of sad $:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
KrayKrayGurl117 7
This reminds me of the one iCarly episode I've seen. You know, when Sam is like "Ooooo. You can just FEEL the awkward in the air" *grabs at air* lol
CrazyManNo9 29
I had the same problem working in Mexico City. I figured that if I was going to be there, I needed to be like a local and just deal with it until my immune system kicked in. After 10 months of being constantly ill, I left. It was either leave or die. So, don't even think about waiting it out. That's not going to happen.
unixdude 9
All these posts and not a single "Hello, I am the National Food Inspector for Nigeria, and I need your assistance" reply....
Rainbowbright99 4
Lol @ food inspector comment.
Maggums18 0
U should have brought lots,of puddin
jm42345 5
thats why you dont visit 3rd world countrys. an only drink bottled water you jack ass
green_faerie 5
it really annoys me when the whole of Africa is just lumped together like its one big country... we do actually have countries you know, just saying ;)
Mandybruin 15
Drink coconut juice fresh from the coconut. Tastes gross (to me anyway) but it works.
sissors1234 4
I didn't know that.....intresting
Silverangel007 3
*we AREN'T one big cultural group
ThatEmoVeganChic 0
Probiotics?