Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML
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Top comments
siberianhamster 17
YDI, twice over for trying to drive.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
At least you couldn't drive!!
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Comments (135)
mattrd_fml 31
YDI. I'm glad this happened. be thankful you couldn't get into your car!
poncho55 40
YDI so much on so many levels.
asylumlane 23
You definitely deserved it. There's no reason to get so wasted that you couldn't unlock your car. And being that drunk, driving should be the last thing you should be doing. If you can't handle your alcohol, take a frigging cab!
stoych 19
I know you're in the US but here in the UK if you are seen getting into the drivers side with keys the police can arrest you for intention to drive whilst under the influence. There are too many deaths these days from drunk drivers both innocent and guilty party. For that reason you deserved it but for your sake I'm glad you (and the general public) are safe. Lesson learned I hope!
n00b4liciou5 10
You booze, you lose, OP. +1 YDI
thenameismakai 3
Wooooow haha
LifeStinks227 10
a did thing since you wetter on no condition to drive if you were that drunk.
stoych 19
Did you read through what you wrote before you posted? I suspect not!
Ins0mau 20
He's drunk.
CrazyMelvin 14
Idiot!!!!!!!
Xotoolyxo 16
And that's why you shouldn't drive to a bar in the first place
dmbfan31 7
Florida, enough said.