Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML
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Top comments
siberianhamster 17
YDI, twice over for trying to drive.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
At least you couldn't drive!!
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Comments (135)
ZY1431 24
Well its good that you didn't drive, cause then you could of had worse problems.
rydensnorlax 1
I don't understand why everyone is up their own asses about drunk driving. He didn't ultimately end up driving drunk... Also, I had a close friend die by getting hit by a sober driver, and I don't hate that people drive sober. It's just a little ridiculous. I get that it's dangerous, but he didn't deserve it because it's just soooo horrible that he attempted unsuccessfully to drive drunk. Also... He might have just been going to get something from his car, it doesn't say he was even trying to drive.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Are you completely stupid? Had he successfully gotten into his vehicle he could have very easily killed someone, or left then permanently injured. Yes collisions happen often and with various other causes, that doesn't mean go and do something incredibly selfish and reckless because 'oh well they happen anyways'. The point is to try to lower the rate of collisions and deaths not add to it with something completely preventable. Drinking and driving kills people, and idiots like you that don't get this concept really baffle me. Please for the safety of others on the road don't drive.
sugoine 12
One word: DUMBASS
cryssycakesx3 23
I'm sure I'll get thumbed down but maybe he wasn't getting in to drive? it just said he couldn't open the door.
Sweetpea22 14
You actually believe he was trying to open the door and not drive?
cryssycakesx3 23
does it say so? what I "believe" doesn't matter. it's still a possibility.
katties 27
Where I'm from you can get a big fine for SITTING in the driver's seat drunk - the reason: you might attempt to drive. If you don't remember the "not sitting in driver's seat" rule, you might not understand that you shouldn't drive, which means you can get fined or otherwise punished because you got so drunk that you might b a danger to yourself and others. If he was drunk enough to key his own car I wouldn't assume he would be smart enough to NOT drive at that point.
gabagabaheyu 10
idiot
Fernando83 19
I'm glad you keyed your own car. I just wished you would have done more that way you'd have had to spend your money fixing it rather then on alcohol.
Thunderstruck14 30
Well it sucks you keyed your car, but driving drunk is not okay at all. Drinking is okay. Even getting drunk is acceptable. But it is NOT okay to attempt to drive under the influence. You could've killed someone! Taken someone's loved one away forever! Sure, your situation sucks, but YDI.
karmakat 7
To everyone who agreed this person's life sucks.... do you not realize they were about to drive -and probably did - in a state where they were so drunk they couldn't operate a lock and key? They're lucky they weren't the cause of a lot more people's lives sucking. Asshole.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
I read as far as "I got stupid drunk" and clicked YDI.
sanecatlady 13
Idiot! You couldn't even open the car door, what made you think you could drive it without killing someone? Oh that's right, you weren't thinking because you were stupid drunk, but now you're just stupid! People like you make me sick, Y D every second of I!!!