Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML
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Top comments
siberianhamster 17
YDI, twice over for trying to drive.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
At least you couldn't drive!!
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Comments (135)
sexual_girl 15
YDI 100%. Especially since you were going to drink and drive. It's a good thing you couldn't get your car door open.
edanielleh 21
YDI and you also deserve a DUI. Seriously, how hard is it to plan ahead??
lonelyman36 12
You deserve it for getting so drunk.
jaybone87 8
retard
Kamon97 23
People like you give alcohol a bad name -.-
JMichael 26
You definitely deserve this one.
cathrope 10
Thank you for posting this on a Monday, it made my day. :)
limabeans101029 21
You were going to try and drive while that drunk? If so, you completely deserve it, moron.
Sweetpea22 14
Sorry, YDI big time. You're a moron for trying to drive drunk
Axel5238 29
Here in NJ if a cop sees you come out of a bar and try to open your car door they can stop you. If you are over the limit they can charge you with attempting to drive drunk. That holds true in most if not all states. I was told by a family member who was a cop that it depends on what they see and the area you are in does matter somewhat. YDI for trying to drive drunk, thankfully you weren't able to get into your car. You could've died or killed someone. Hopefully, this is a wake up call.